


Dinner Rush

by writingstarsinthesky



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Amor - Freeform, Blowjobs, Cunnilingus, Customer Service, F/F, Implied Non-Con, Implied Violence, M/M, Nonbinary Character, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Suggestive Themes, Trans Cloud Strife, Vaginal Sex, eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:09:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 27,112
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24883618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingstarsinthesky/pseuds/writingstarsinthesky
Summary: The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Or through his ribs.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 64
Kudos: 171





	1. Appetizers

The dinner rush was always a time of great conflict for Cloud Strife. On the one hand, he hated it with every fiber of his being, unable to even keep up a fake customer service smile as he ran off his feet trying to keep up with orders. 

Then again, a busy dinner meant more customers, and that meant more money in Tifa’s account. 7th Heaven was her baby, the only one she was likely to ever have, and she had put her heart and most of her savings into making the place profitable. A bar and grill wasn’t the _most_ glamorous aspiration, but Tifa loved it with all she was; Cloud would do whatever it took to make sure it succeeded, even if that meant practically sprinting back and forth to the kitchen to get his orders. 

Cloud picks up the check and pockets the tip, letting out a breath as he does. One table down, about twelve to go. Still, every little bit helps to relieve the pressure on him, especially when the lady in the next table loudly clears her throat, shaking her glass at him expectantly. Cloud sucks his teeth, not quite loud enough to be heard over the music. 

“Sorry ma’am, iced tea was it?” Cloud manages a smile, hoping to defuse the potential manager bomb.

It does not, in fact, work. The woman sighs like she’s never been more out upon in her life, shaking her glass furiously at him. “It was _sweet tea_. With _no_ lemon. I assume you can at least remember _that_?” She says nastily.

“Of course, ma’am.” Cloud says through a smile made of gritted teeth, turning away before he curses at somebody. 

He shoulders open the door to the kitchen in time for Tifa to flip whatever food she’s cooking over the pan, catching it with a sizzle.

“Ole.” Cloud says idly, grabbing a jug of sweet tea. “Hey am I allowed to curse out the customers yet?”

“No.” Tifa gives him a look, pouring the food- seasoned vegetables it turns out- onto a plate. “By the way those mozzarella sticks are for a table that just sat down. By the window.” 

Cloud groans, knowing he’s going to have even more people to dance for. “Is the dinner rush over yet.”

Tifa smiles, slicing up a steak with precision. “Cheer up. One of them has a really cool scar; you think scars are hot right?”

“He’s a customer; on principle I have to hate him, even if he does have a hot scar.” Cloud clarifies, picking up the plate. “Besides he’s probably going to try and grab my ass.”

Tifa seems to consider that. “If he does you can break that pitcher of sweet tea over his head.”

“.... Please god let him try it. I could use the stress relief.” Cloud sighs.

He ducks before the dish towel Tifa throws can hit him, the corners of his mouth twitching as he hurries out of the kitchen. 

He pours the woman her glass of sweet tea and manages to not attack her with marinara when she sighs out a _Finally_ , turning and checking out the table by the window. 

They’re in kind of a shit spot: one part of the booth is against the wall, the other butted up against a six seater. Two men are seated there, idly chatting as one checks his phone. The one against the wall must be the one Tifa pointed out to him; there’s a scar cut into his light brown skin, against the curve of his jaw that looks like an X. 

Cloud idly wonders if he had gotten into a knife fight or something and lost; that looked like it was nasty.

The other man was less broad, more wiry, relaxed but Cloud can recognize when somebody is feigning a lack of tension. His braids are twisted up into a coily bun, in direct contrast to the wild black hair that’s falling over his friend’s shoulders. 

Cloud sets down a plate and forces himself not to take a step back. The black guy with the braids has the brightest blue eyes he’s ever seen, watchful even under his sleepy lids, and the one with the scar… Cloud has to look again. 

They’re blue, not purple, but damn if it wasn’t close.

Blue-purple eyes smiles. “Hey, thanks. We’re fucking starving.”

Blue eyes snorts, taking a mozzarella stick. “Might as well make us another plate; Zack is gonna inhale these like the asshole he is.”

“Shut the fuck up Kunsel.” Zack snorts, snagging one. “You gotta be quick if you don’t wanna be dead.” 

Zack and Kunsel huh. “Well just let me know if you need anything else.” Cloud says with a smile, chirping in fake customer service that makes him want to die. 

He’s off again, taking orders and growing more and more irritated as tables bitch and complain and over and over leave him with just enough money to cover the bill. It’s fine, it’s not a big deal. Tifa gains more profits, it’s fine. That’s what was important here. He’ll be the first to admit he’s not a people person; as hard as he tries to be nice it’s disingenuous, and eventually it always fails if the customer pushes hard enough. His patience is scarce tonight as the crowd grows, and as it gets later the tips are even more scarce. It wasn’t turning out to be a great night, but he’d had worse.

Still, though. School wasn’t cheap, even part time. And rent… Cloud sighs, picking up the new order for his window table. He doesn’t remember to smile until it’s too late, wondering if he should stock up on kraft now or put it off until later.

“You okay?” Zack looks at him curiously, cocking his head, and for a moment Cloud is reminded very strongly of a puppy.

Fuck it, he couldn’t manage a smile right now. “I’m fine. Just a long shift.” Cloud sighs, rolling his stiff neck. “I’ll be fine once we close.”

Zack frowns and it really doesn’t help the puppy look. “Are people being shitty to you? You look like you’re running yourself ragged.”

He sounds concerned, but Cloud shakes his head. No reason to get baited into a bad review. “Just busy. My coworker called out so now I’m by myself.” 

Zack frowns, and Cloud doesn’t miss the quick dip of his eyes to where he usually puts his tips. Cloud shifts, ready to dodge out of the way if he tried to pickpocket him. “That sucks. I hope people aren’t stiffing you.” 

Cloud shrugs noncommittally; he wanted something and Cloud is pretty sure he knows what it is. “Can I get you anything else?”

Zack looks at him, a dopey, almost hopeful smile slowly spreading over his face, and Cloud is immediately irritated that his heart flips over at the sight. He’d sworn off men, damn it, it was time for his heart to get with the program.

“You wanna get a burger after work? This looks like a hungry job.” Zack smiles charmingly. 

“I’m a vegetarian.” Cloud deadpans.

“A veggie burger then.” Zack corrects, winking at him. 

Kunsel rolls his eyes, and Cloud guesses from Zack’s yelp that he’s kicked Zack under the table. “The check’s fine, thanks Cloud.” 

Kunsel and Cloud share a look, and the corner of Cloud’s mouth quirks up as he recognizes the same tiredness only retail can impart.

Zack is definitely pouting when Cloud hurries away. “How come he smiled at you.”

“Clearly my raw sex appeal.”

Cloud grabs their check and barely has time to drop it off before he has to go clear out his other tables. Once he’s collected all the checks, he frowns, counting his tips with a sigh. He knew the food was cheap, and he had lost a few tips from some of his tables, but it still hurt to see the few bills and coins on the table. 

Cloud rubs his eyes, leaning on the waiter’s stand. Working for tips _sucked_. Tifa paid him as much as she could but it still didn’t help his bills. He shakes his head, pushing off the stand, not wanting Tifa to see him unhappy.

It was his own damn fault that he had to live like this. He wouldn’t worry his friend who actually did something with her life. 

Zack and Kunsel are heading out when he gets back to their table, and it makes him stop when he opens up the check. 

A couple plates of apps and drinks had run them about twenty bucks, and there was about seventy dollars lying there in the fold. Cloud groans, snatching up the excess bills and hurrying out. He didn’t _want_ to give the money back, but it wasn’t worth what little patience he had to deal with arguing with two frat guys.

He assumed they were frat guys; he didn’t really know but he’d seen their type before.

Thankfully they’re still in the parking lot, Kunsel throwing his leg over an admittedly beautiful bike. Zack perks up when he sees Cloud coming, and if he had a tail it would be wagging. 

“Hey. You left too much money.” Cloud huffs, holding out the fistful of money. “Your bill was only twenty.”

Zack’s smile only grows. “No I didn’t.”

Cloud frowns. “Yeah you did. You left like seventy dollars. That’s too much.”

“It’s your tip.”

“... what?”

Cloud blinks, suddenly uncertain. He wasn’t expecting that. 

Zack’s smile is softer, and he revs the engine as he pulls his helmet on. “Have a good night Cloud.”

Cloud watches them roar off into the night, standing there bewildered, heart squeezing uncomfortably tight. He… wasn’t sure he liked how that made him feel. How Zack made him feel.

He shakes his head, heading back inside; he wouldn’t deal with that now. 

It’s not like he’d ever see Zack again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello I'm in zakkura/clack hell
> 
> I'm gonna update this semi? Frequently? Try to anyway
> 
> There'll be some questionable content in later chapters but don't worry I'll update the tags when we get there.


	2. Drinks

Zack is back the next week. 

Cloud nearly curses when he sees him, ducking under the bar as if he’s searching for a glass. What the _hell_ was he doing back here?! Sure the food was good, and it was cheap, but… 

Cloud groans, rubbing his face. He was in hell. He was in hell and this was his punishment. 

“Cloud?” Speak of the devil.

Aerith cocks her head, looking down at him. “Why are you behind the bar? I just sat a table in your section.” 

Cloud huffs, pushing a hand through his hair. “That guy… don’t worry about it. I just don’t want to serve him. Jessie can cover his table; maybe she’ll finally get lucky.”

He smothers the small, uncomfortable squirm in his belly at the idea of Zack hooking up with Jessie. 

Aerith just stares at him, and Cloud huffs out a breath. He hates how sometimes she can just see right through him. 

“.... He asked me out the last time we were here.” Cloud mumbles. “And left me like a fifty dollar tip.” 

Aerith looks at him a moment more, then slowly grins wide, a sure sign of bad things to come. “Oh my god. He flirted with you? Really?”

Cloud groans and hides his face in his hands. “Just kill me instead of mocking me it’ll go faster.”

Aerith giggles, bouncing a little in her flat boots. “Don’t worry then Cloud! I’ll take care of your table~” she says, and off she goes, leaving Cloud behind the bar. 

Cloud pauses, his knees starting to ache as he crouches behind the bar. On the one hand, Aerith was bright and bubbly and much more of a people person; he _really_ didn't want to look into those puppy dog eyes and feel his stomach flip again. 

On the other hand, Aerith was secretly pure evil and was probably giving Zack his address as they spoke.

Cloud curses and pops up from behind the counter, hurrying over to where Aerith has thrown her arms around Zack’s neck. Aerith is giggling, and Zack… looks surprisingly uncomfortable. Huh. Guess Aerith had the same effect on everybody.

Well, except Tifa. 

“Alright, alright, enough. Stop trying to steal my tips.” Cloud says sourly. 

Aerith grins, poking Zack’s cheek. “I had no idea you two knew each other! You should _definitely_ hang out.”

Cloud huffs, fighting down a smile as Zack turns red. God he had to get a hold of himself. “I’m a hermit. You know I don’t hang out.” he grumbles, nodding at the front door. “We have more customers.”

Aerith pouts, but winks at Zack. “Remember what I told you.” She pokes his cheek, hurrying over to greet the newcomers.

Cloud looks at Zack and lifts a brow. “You know each other?”

Zack blushes, playing with his straw. “Ex-Girlfriend. It’s a long story.”

Cloud hums. “She figured out she liked girls better than guys huh.”

Zack blinks. “Uh, how did-“

“She’s dating Tifa, the one who runs this place.” Cloud jabs a thumb back at the kitchen. “Aerith told me she was bi and she dated a guy before Tifa.”

Zack blinks, then smiles. “Well, I hope she told you good things.”

“I didn’t ask.” Cloud says dryly, making Zack laugh. “I assume she sold you my identity or something.”

Zack blushes again, playing with his straw. “Nah. Just wanted to see how I was.” 

Cloud shrugs. “Fair enough. What can I get you?”

Zack cocks his head, and Cloud huffs, pretending that his gaze doesn’t make him blush. “I hear you’re in art school. Any good?” 

Cloud huffs through his nose. “If you don’t order anything I can throw you out you know.”

Zack laughs and orders, a greasy plate of nachos Cloud has seen defeat a table of six men. He’s interested to see how far Zack gets before he throws up. “I like your apron by the way.”

Cloud blushes, playing with his apron strings. His apron was black, but the edges were lined with little orange bats. Now that it was officially October, Tifa and Aerith had gone hog fucking wild with the decorations. He only hoped they wouldn’t force him to dress up.

“Thanks. You know, that plate of yours is meant for like, six people. You sure you don’t want to order something else?”

Zack grins, smacking his stomach. “Don’t worry. This thing is bottomless.” 

Cloud snorts. “Yeah I’ve heard that one before. You can’t get a refund if you don’t finish yknow.”

Zack has a gleam in his eye, one Cloud is a little too sure in the certainty of Zack’s loss to see. “Yeah? Is that a challenge?”

“Yeah, sure it is.” Well, if he wanted to be stupid. “If you lose you pay double.”

“And if I win?” 

Cloud thinks it over.

“If you win you get my number.” Cloud says dryly. 

Zack brightens, and gets a steely look in his eyes. “You’re on.” 

Cloud snorts, tipping the ticket. “Alright, it’s your funeral.” 

Cloud drops off the plate a full fifteen minutes later, and he needs Biggs to help him place it down on Zack’s table. The thing is practically _heaped_ with calories and empty carbs, though the smell of meat does make his mouth water. Tifa knew how to put together a fucking plate. “Remember if you need to puke, bathroom’s over there.” 

Biggs snorts, wiping his hands on his apron. “I dunno why you’re trying to kill this guy Cloud. What did he ever do to you?”

“I’m letting his hubris kill him.” Cloud snorts. “If he won’t save his own life, nothing I can do about that.”

Biggs laughs, looking at Zack. “Our resident charmer.”

Zack grins wide. “Oh I can tell. He’s already got me under his spell~”

Cloud rolls his eyes and walks away, shoving open the kitchen door so neither man would see his cheeks turn pink. It was fine, anyway. There’s no way he finishes the whole thing, and Cloud would get back to business soon enough. 

.O.

After an hour, Cloud figures it’s time to have mercy on the poor guy. That plate of nachos was made to feed six; he was sure there’d be a sizable dent in the nachos, but mostly Zack would be looking sick and defeated and Cloud wouldn’t have to give out anything.

Cloud passes by his table- and stops. 

What. 

What the fuck.

Zack looks… the farthest thing from sick, or defeated. In fact, an enormous, victorious grin is spread over his face, elbows leant on the table, his plate…

Empty. Not even a chip left.

“How in God’s holy fucking name.” Cloud is fucking _floored_ , knocked off his equilibrium again. “Did you eat that whole fucking thing.” 

Zack shrugs, still grinning. “I told you. I have an iron stomach.”

Cloud turns slightly paler, then pink, then bright red, grabbing the plate and walking quickly back into the kitchen. 

Biggs is the one who brings Zack out his check, and he’s laughing even as Zack looks worried. “Don’t worry about it. The dude has the social skills of a turnip.” He says with a smirk, opening the folder to show Zack’s prize.

Cloud’s number, written in hurried, tight handwriting. 

.O.

At first, Cloud refuses to text back. He’s still mad about the bet, and it’s not like he was ever the best texter either. 

Zack, however, texts like the world is ending. His texts are quick and sporadic, and often they don’t quite make grammatical sense. He sends a _lot_ of pictures, and Cloud is tempted to block him. 

He said he’d give his number out, not that he’d talk to Zack.

The second day, though, Zack seems to have gotten some kind of hint, because the texts slow down. He’s still just as friendly, but it doesn’t keep his phone buzzing every four seconds which gives Cloud a second to breathe. 

He should be working on a figure drawing, but he’d finished it about five minutes ago. He’s bored, and he’s trying to avoid the gaze of the model who’s looking at him with more interest than he’d like, so he scrolls through Zack’s messages.

It’s a good morning text, various updates throughout the day, and the most recent message from about ten minutes ago is a picture of a sturdy looking pitbull, leaning into Zack’s palm happily as she’s pet. There’s two chihuahuas next to her, one standing on his hind legs as if offended he’s not being pet instead.

Cloud smiles a little, typing a response.

when the boss has mini bosses helping it out

Those three dots pop up almost immediately, and Cloud wonders what the hell he does that he’s immediately texting back at 2 pm on a Wednesday.

**they wer all VERY good dogs**

***were**

i can tell. thats a hell of a smile.

**i wish i couldve took her home but she already had an owner :(**

that would be considered theft, yeah

**awww u worried abt me? ;)**

no I just dont want to be your last called number and i get my ass dragged down to a police station to bail you out

**u kno thats nt how it works right lol**

how would you know, what are you a cop

**firefighter actually :)**

Cloud has to close his eyes as he actually feels a bolt of heat shoot up his spine. Fuck, of course he was a firefighter. 

He’s distracted as the model shifts again, and he sketches, shaking his head. He hated figure drawing, it was boring as hell. He just wanted to finish this sketch so he could get out of here. 

It has nothing to do with the gentle buzzing against his thigh he can’t pay attention to right now, of course not.

He finishes the sketch, flipping his phone back over. 

**dad was a cop tho**

**was = key word there**

**hated all the corrupt shit they used to pull**

**he made sheriff n tried to reform but they railroaded him :(**

**he quit in protest after one of his guys got accused of doin som fucked up shit to some girl**

***some**

Cloud’s vision goes blurry at the edges as he reads the last message, and his fingers move quicker than Zack’s dots can appear

i dont need the details

There’s a pause after that message, and Cloud winces when he reads it back. Shit, he always sounds like a bitch, even when he doesn’t mean to. 

sorry. just a touchy subject. what does your dad do now?

He holds his breath, waiting. Thankfully, Zack responds after only a moment of silence.

**its okay. u wanna talk abt it?**

not really

**oh**

**well dads a social worker now. helps underprivileged people n stuff. its p cool :)**

sounds like a real hero

that wasnt sarcastic by the way

**nah i got it :) and ya i think so**

**maybe u can meet him 1 day**

unless he likes cheap ribs and a bitchy waitress i doubt it

Zack sends several laughing emojis, and Cloud smiles very slightly again. He has to put his phone down again for the final pose, but he sneaks a peek at his phone when it buzzes again.

**hey gotta go my breaks over**

**talk 2 u later?**

Cloud hesitates, sending his reply before turning back to his drawing, squashing the squirming in his belly with a grumble.

yeah i guess so

**< 3**

.O.

“So… how’s Zack?”

Tifa is looking at him out of the corner of her eyes as they walk up to Barret’s door. She’s wearing a cream colored sweater Cloud got her for her birthday, probably to prove to Barret he wasn’t a horrible friend. 

“You look nice.” 

“That’s not what I asked.”

Cloud blows the hair out of his face. His lipstick feels tacky already, reaching up to play with his earring. He didn’t like dressing up these days but it was a holiday so he had to. 

“... he’s fine. He’s having thanksgiving out in the desert today.” 

Tifa hums, pushing a hand through her hair, neatly pulled into a bun. “Sounds like a long flight.”

Cloud snorts. “I don’t know how he doesn’t get throttled on the way down there. Dude’s full of energy.” 

(He does know; Zack told him he popped a Xanax and was “out like a light” when he took a flight back home.)

He won’t ever admit it, but Cloud kind of missed the constant buzzing against his thigh. This is the first time in a month he hasn’t had Zack texting him all day, and it puts Cloud on edge. 

Tifa knocks on Barret’s door, smiling a little. “Well maybe you can hang out when he comes back from thanksgiving.” 

Cloud snorts as the door opens. “Stop trying to make me socialize.” 

Barret opens the door and Cloud barely has enough time to shift his plate he’s carrying before they’re both crushed in a hug against a very large chest. 

“About time y’all showed up!” Barret’s voice is booming as always, and he puts them down with a grin. “How y’all been?” 

Tifa laughs, rubbing her arm. “All good here! Business is booming!” She said with a grin and a thumbs up. 

That’s not exactly true, but they weren’t drowning so he guesses they’re fine. 

“Well come on in. Put your food on the counter.” Barret smiles, moving his bulk out of the way so they can enter.

Barret’s house is, as always, cramped yet cozy. Marlene’s toys have been shuttered off in her room, and the house smelled like brownies.

Barret points into the kitchen with his prosthetic hand. “Put your shit in there, then scoot. Ain’t nobody allowed in the kitchen ‘cept me.” 

Cloud and Tifa nod, but Tifa is immediately distracted when Aerith comes running over in a dress the same color as a butternut squash. 

“Tifa!” Aerith squeals, jumping into her arms and laughing as Tifa catches her in her free arm, spinning her around with a grin. “You made it!”

Aerith kisses Tifa very loudly on the cheek, looking over after a moment and smiling. “Hi Cloud!”

Cloud snorts, now holding the cookies he brought and the bottle of wine Tifa nearly dropped when Aerith threw herself at her. “Don’t let me interrupt.” 

The two of them burst into giggles once Cloud leaves, and he sighs. He really is happy for them; Tifa needed somebody to get her out of her shell, and Aerith never looked happier than when Tifa was around. 

He sets the bottle down and looks at the cookies he made critically. They were lumpy as hell and the dish was chipped, but they didn’t look horrible. They’d do. He follows the noise back out into the doorway, looking out. 

Biggs, Wedge, and Jessie were already there, Biggs and Wedge cheering at the football game on tv while Jessie was busy mixing a drink. Seeing as he knew even less about football than making conversation, he heads over to Barret’s makeshift bar. 

“Couldn’t get Vincent to come?” He inquires, and Jessie jumps but laughs. 

“Nah. Guy wanted to be alone. Probably needs to charge up his vampire batteries or something.” Jessie hums, offering him a drink. 

Cloud hums, taking the drink with a nod of thanks. “Wouldn’t be surprised if he doesn’t celebrate. He doesn’t seem like the holiday type.”

“Yeah but you _know_ that’s just gonna make him try harder to get Vincent to come to the Christmas party.” Jessie snorts. “The guy can’t hide from Barret’s cheer forever.”

Cloud sips his drink and tries not to make a face. Jessie, bless her heart, couldn’t fathom not making drinks so sweet he could feel sugar sticking to his teeth. “They should just fuck or leave each other alone. It’s getting annoying.” 

Jessie sticks her tongue out at him, nudging his side with her elbow. “You are the least romantic person I know, Cloud Strife.” 

“Then it’s a good thing I swore off manhandling huh.”

Jessie looks like she’s got a retort, but it’s cut off by Wedge. 

“Jessie! C’mon we need you! They’re only up by two points and the other guys are up for a kick!”

Jessie rolls her eyes and smiles. “The boys think I’m a lucky charm. Guess I can’t really disappoint them.” She waves, plopping herself back on the couch. 

Cloud finds himself alone by the bar, and he hesitates, taking a step towards where the three are comfortably mushed together, yelling and cheering at the tv. He opens his mouth to make a comment, but Biggs cheers and jumps up as he does, hugging Jessie tight as he spins around. He melts back, frowning a little. They don’t need him to ruin their good mood. 

Cloud looks out the front window, wondering what was keeping Tifa, and he can see her and Aerith, cuddled together like kittens on the porch swing; idly rocking back and forth in the cool breeze. Cloud wouldn’t bother them either.

Cloud backs up, setting his drink down, until he’s at the back door. The house is full of life, Barret is singing, the trio is laughing at some sort of cheesy commentary, and Tifa and Aerith are clearly in love. 

And Cloud is…

Cloud doesn’t exactly know where a jagged piece like him fits in a family like this. Maybe he doesn’t.

The back porch is cool, opening up to a backyard that reflects Barret’s house. Cloud sits on the wooden steps, resting his chin on his knees. He doesn’t really know why he showed up today. He was never good at things like this, at being liked. Maybe it would've been simpler to stay home. 

He pulls his phone out of the cup of his bra (he hadn’t felt like wearing his binder today) and he types a quick text.

its cold as shit up here hope you’re keeping warm

Cloud stares at his phone for a few minutes, and his heart sinks when those bubbles don’t pop up; even Zack was too busy for him today. 

This was stupid as hell. He should just go home and heat up some pizza and watch movies for the rest of the night. He didn’t need to overeat for no reason. He sighs, tucking his phone away. It was kind of a hike from Barret’s place to his apartment but he didn’t really have another option. 

“Hi Cloud!”

A small voice makes him turn, and he can’t help a slight smile. “Hey Marlene. I like your dress.”

Marlene giggles and does a little twirl. “Thank you. I helped Daddy pick it out. Why are you out here all alone?” 

Cloud pauses for a minute. “Just wanted some fresh air.” 

“Oh.” Marlene seems to consider it, then gets that look on her face that little kids do when they think they’re being sly. “Well if you’re not busy and you’re not cooking… will you draw princesses for me again?”

Cloud huffs through his nose, his smile growing just a little. “Alright. But if you ask for Mulan three times again I’m feeding you to the monster under your bed.” 

“Nuh _uh”_ Marlene puffs up her cheeks, taking his hand. “Daddy scared that away a long time ago!”

“How do you know a new one hasn’t moved in already?” Cloud lets himself be pulled back into the house, the door shutting out the cold breeze behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zack isn't dumb he just is a lil stupid 
> 
> Also Cloud is sad as fuck who can relate
> 
> y'all can find me @shepardsaves on twitter if u wanna see fic previews or just ff7r stuff in general!


	3. First Course

December dawns bright and cold, and Cloud finds himself looking forward to the holidays despite himself. Lots of holiday shopping meant more people would be willing to stop in for a bite to eat. And hopefully, that would mean a good Christmas for Tifa. It meant more work for Cloud, but he could live with it. 

The end of the Thanksgiving weekend also meant people were back from traveling. 

Cloud knows Zack is there before he sees him when he comes in the back way because Kunsel is in the back, sitting at their computer that was probably too old to function but Cloud could still make it get the job done. 

“Hey Cloud.” Kunsel hums, barely moving the toothpick between his lips. “How’s tricks.”

“Sup Kunsel.” Cloud lifts a brow, pulling on his apron. “Same as usual. What brought you back here.” 

Kunsel, they had discovered in his frequent visits to 7th Heaven, was a little bit like robot god. If it had any kind of hardware or software, Kunsel could make it dance. He was also freakishly good at finding out information about people, which he demonstrated by finding the address of the banker who gave Tifa her loan for the restaurant. 

Cloud was a little afraid he was half robot; Zack tried to assuage these fears by telling him Kunsel smoked like a chimney but that didn’t exactly placate him.

Kunsel rolls the toothpick in his mouth, and it must be a hell of a problem, because Kunsel’s oral fixation only showed up when he was thinking real hard about something. “I’m trying to translate your fucking system into something workable. Tifa’s gonna pay me in chips.”

“Uh, isn’t it preferable to get paid in money?” Cloud lifts a brow, putting in his holiday earrings- sparkling snowflakes spread across his earlobe. “It’s the first of the month- what about rent?”

Kunsel shrugs, sucking idly on the toothpick. “It’s my nana’s house bro. She don’t charge rent for me and Zack.” He pauses for a moment. “She charges for Reno though.” 

Cloud pauses, then nods. “Sounds like a wise choice.”

“You don’t even know Reno dude.”

“No but I saw the picture from Halloween. I don’t need to know him.” 

Kunsel smirks, typing something into their struggling computer, the fans already kicking in. “Hey, while you’re flouncing around out there can you check on Zack? He seemed down when he got off work today.”

Cloud shrugs, picking up Zack’s usual- whatever new concoction Tifa had come up with she needed criticism on, which would be enthusiastically consumed by the human puppy Cloud had somehow brought into their lives. He wonders what would bring Zack down; realistically he knew a firefighter had a pretty intense job, one that wasn’t always guaranteed to have a happy ending. 

Zack hadn’t seemed upset when he texted him from the airport the day before (he’d apologized for missing Cloud’s thanksgiving text,  **sorry moms big in2 the whole family bein present at the holidays w/e that means :•(** , and it definitely didn’t make Cloud smile in the middle of making coffee,  _ it’s chill don’t even worry about it. _ ), and he’d even sent him a selfie from the airport, squatting next to a German Shepard that probably should’ve been working. 

He’d gotten a good morning text too and Cloud decided to punish him for waking him up at 5 fucking am by sending him a selfie in bed, his face scrunched up and flipping off the camera, still clearly surrounded by the tangle of sheets and his rumpled pillow, his face still pink from sleep. 

It was all around a bad selfie, you could even see some drool dried on Cloud’s face, and he considers seeing it a good expression of his ire. 

Still, though, none of that indicated he was in a bad mood. When Cloud shoulders open the kitchen door, a soda in hand and a plate balanced on the other, he sees it.

Zack’s broad shoulders are sagging as he sits at his usual booth against the wall, and he’s frowning at the table, scratching a fingernail against the lacquered wood. He looks on edge. 

Cloud clears his throat to announce his presence, but Zack jumps a little anyway. He’s definitely not in a good place; it’s subtle, he doesn’t make a deal out of it, but Zack was almost frighteningly aware of every person in a room. He always looked over when new customers came in, just a glance, and Cloud felt his eyes on him whenever he moved from table to table. It’s almost like having a personal watchdog.

He wonders if the scar on his chest is the reason for his paranoia. He’s only seen glimpses of it, when Zack’s T-shirt dips below his sternum, but it was big, and he knew it was bad. 

“So, hey.” Cloud slides the plate in front of him at the same time he slides into the booth, crossing his ankles with a click of his boots. “You wanna play 20 questions.”

Zack furrows his brows, cocking his head at him. “I don’t…” 

Cloud picks up a fry from his plate. It was a technique Tifa used on him when he was having a bad day, and he hoped Zack worked the same. “I’ll answer your questions honestly, for once. No jokes. What’s your favorite color?”

Zack looks at him evenly for a moment, as if trying to figure him out. “.... Blue. What, uh” he glances down at his plate, “is on these fries?”

Cloud shrugs, taking another one. “No idea. Tifa wanted to do her own version of animal fries without getting sued.” He hums. “What else do you do besides being a firefighter?”

Zack takes a fry, tapping it on the side of his plate. “I restore cars and bikes and stuff. I built my bike yknow.” 

Cloud sighs, playing with his earring. He doesn’t miss when Zack’s eyes flick to them. “Damn, like you rolled out of a movie. Are you from around here, originally, or did you move?” 

“We used to live like an hour outside of town, but mom can’t stand the winter. They just bought another house down south for the holidays.” Zack’s lips finally quirk up a little, so it must be family he likes talking about. “Yknow, that’s technically three questions.”

Cloud huffs. “It was two, my second one was a two parter.”

Zack laughs. “It was still two different questions; you asked me three.”

Cloud rolls his eyes, but his heart leaps at his laugh. That worked on Zack even faster than it usually worked on him. “God, fine, if you’re gonna split hairs. You can ask me three.” 

Zack hums thoughtfully, putting a fry in his mouth. “Are you really a vegetarian?”

That gets a surprised noise out of Cloud, and he’ll deny it to his death bed that it was a laugh. “I mean. I am but I’m kind of shitty at it. I’ll eat meat if there’s no good options.”

Zack nods as if considering an incredibly valid point and not just another example of Cloud being stupid. “Are  _ you _ from around here?” 

Cloud shakes his head, earrings catching the light as he does. “Nah. Tifa and I are from Nibelheim. I moved up here a year ago.”

Zack cocks his head curiously, grinning. “Nibelheim? Jeeze, you didn’t tell me you were a country boy.” 

Cloud kicks him and Zack yelps and pouts, and Cloud refuses to address the part of him that thinks it’s adorable. “Don’t push your luck. I know it’s pretty backwater.” 

Zack laughs, holding his hands up. “Alright, jeeze, Sorry, no need to attack me.” He leans back, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, even closing one eye to complete the picture. “Now, last question… gotta be a good one cause I know you’re gonna hit me with something heavy.” 

Cloud snorts. “Don’t hurt yourself now.” He says dryly, snagging the last fry off his plate and putting it in his mouth.

“Why don’t you date anymore?”

Cloud’s throat closes for a moment, and he has to force himself to swallow as he stares at the plate. There it was. Of course it was. He’d been shooting Zack down for over a month now, even though he was pretty sure it was a joke at this point. Cloud looks up at him, and though Zack is smiling it doesn’t quite reach his deep blue eyes. It isn’t… unkind, more like looking for an answer. 

“Why were you sad this morning?” The question comes out to deflect, and he sees the line of Zack’s shoulders tighten. He sighs; he doesn’t want this to be a contest of who can hide their shit better. Somebody had to give here with one of their walls. 

Cloud holds up a hand as Zack opens his mouth to give some bullshit excuse, letting out a soft sigh. Somebody had to give. “... I went through some bad shit with my last boyfriend. Like, destroy your life shit. So. Now I don’t do it.”

Zack looks at him, and Cloud doesn’t like it when Zack looks at him like that. Zack was so  _ smart _ , he hid it well but he could read a shitty situation with even the barest details. 

“... so, where is this guy?” Zack says, forcing himself to sound casual. “So I can break his nose the next time I see him.”

Cloud huffs and for once, he tries to laugh to set Zack at ease. Doesn’t work though. “No idea. And I don’t want to know.” He reaches out, gently tugging on Zack’s sleeve. “Your turn.”

Zack blows out a puff of air, making the stray hair in front of his face fly up. “... We had a bad call the day I got back. The fire was already near too dangerous for us to go in. There wasn’t a good entrance, I was tired… two people died.”

Cloud looks at him. “... Zack, that wasn’t your fault.”

Zack shrugs, then smiles. “So. You got any plans for the holidays?” 

It’s clearly a change of subject, so Cloud let’s it go. “Barret is apparently throwing a big ass Christmas party I’m required to attend. He says it’s a holiday party in general though so.” 

He hesitates, just for a moment. “... We’re having a movie night tonight. Aerith insists it's good for bonding. We all get together and drink and pass out on people’s couches. We don’t really watch the movie either honestly but um. I mean if you’re not doing anything tonight. You can bring Kunsel too if you want; the guy looks like he needs to get out more.

Zack has lit up like a Christmas tree as Cloud spoke, and now he’s giving that usual hundred watt grin that made Cloud’s heart flip over. “Sure, sounds fun. Where are we doing it?”

Cloud pulls a napkin over, scribbling an address. “... Tifa’s place. Starts at seven. They tried to get me to host it but I told them my apartment can hold exactly six people before it gets crowded.” 

Zack laughs, taking the napkin. “Sounds like a pain. But yeah, I’ll be there.” 

The warmth in Zack’s smile makes Cloud’s heart squirm all over, but he can’t deny the results; Zack is back to his old puppy self. 

“Cool. Now I have to get to my tables or Tifa might actually fire me.” Cloud snorts, sliding out of the booth. 

“We wouldn’t want that.” Zack winks. “.... I like your earrings, by the way.”

Cloud turns pink, hurrying into the kitchen so he doesn’t have to respond.

.O.

“You waiting for somebody?” 

Cloud huffs, sipping his drink. “What makes you say that.”

Vincent leans against the counter. “You keep looking at the front door every ten minutes even though you know everybody’s chronically late. It’s not even ten past seven yet.” 

Cloud shrugs, worrying the tab of his soda can and trying to look casual. “I’m not waiting for anybody, I have anxiety.” 

“Sure you’re not. Just like I’m not waiting for Barret.” Vincent snorts.

“You two should just fuck and get it over with.”

_ That  _ earns him a grape flicked at his head, and Cloud ducks to avoid it. 

“Hey, are we having a food fight?”

“No.” Cloud grumbles, ignoring the squirming of his heart as he hears Zack’s voice. “I’m being bullied.”

Zack grins, shaking off his leather jacket and holding up a case of beer. “We bring gifts!”

“And snacks.” Kunsel says from behind him, holding up chips. He has that same lazy look to him, but Cloud can tell he’s somewhat anxious. 

Vincent goes to take the beer from him, Zack immediately taking his seat next to Cloud. “Looks like we’re early.” He says, looking around. “Just you two here?”

Cloud sighs. “Tifa’s downstairs arguing with her landlord. Aerith’s there for emotional support. But, basically yeah. Nobody’s ever on time.” 

They decide to waste time by playing flip cup, Tifa arriving in the middle and loudly declaring that all landlords are bastards before throwing back Cloud’s last cup of beer and flipping it perfectly. Cloud immediately taps out- he’s seen too many rounds of Tifa’s games- and goes to open the door as Zack resumes his spot, a gleam in his eyes Cloud knows well enough by now.

Eventually the game stops when everyone arrives, including a friend Cloud made at the local bike shop. He uses “friend” loosely, but Roche was a cool guy, and it made Cloud feel slightly less pathetic for inviting a friend that wasn’t connected to his existing group. 

He’s somehow become the bartender- he wants to give Tifa the night off- and he takes the opportunity to scan the room as he mixes a drink for Biggs. 

Aerith and Tifa and Jessie have made their own little girl huddle, talking about god knows what and giggling as they braid Tifa’s long hair; probably shitty customers, if Cloud had to guess. Maybe Jessie’s latest acting job; he’s been meaning to ask how that went. 

Biggs and Wedge are debating the merits of the Star Wars movies with Zack, Biggs idly tracing little patterns into Wedge’s arm as he smacks a hand on his leg to emphasize it’s about the  _ emotions, Wedge _ , George Lucas just fucked the prequels with his directing. Wedge rolls his eyes like he’s heard this argument many times from his boyfriend, and he probably has. Zack looks a little confused by the intensity but he’s into it, launching into a defense of Empire and the  _ original  _ best twist ever. 

Zack looks… nice when he’s relaxed, which is a stupid thought. He’s seen Zack relaxed before at the restaurant, so it shouldn’t be different here. Zack still seems like he’s aware of everything but there’s something different about seeing him surrounded by people. Tifa’s apartment was always a place of comfort, and seeing Zack in the soft lighting makes something go soft inside him. 

He yanks his eyes away from Zack because that’s bringing up a whole mess of feelings he doesn’t want to remotely deal with, continuing to scan the room. 

Barret arrived with a pan of brownies that had promptly been devoured, and now he’s chatting with Vincent in the big armchair they bought specifically for Barret (Cloud still remembers pushing that damn thing up the stairs). Vincent is perched on the arm of the squishy chair, listening as Barret tells a story about his day care that apparently has him in stitches. He looks like the perfect listener- nodding, smiling, snorting into his soda when appropriate- but his eyes are traveling over the expanse of Barret’s body, sliding over his meaty chest and his broad arms with an expression Cloud could only describe as hunger. One of Barret’s arms is around his waist, using his prosthetic to idly slide over the buttons on his coat, and Cloud isn’t sure if that’s helping or hurting Vincent’s expression. 

The surprise of the night is Roche and Kunsel, both tucked away on Tifa’s balcony as Kunsel smokes a cigarette. Roche had made himself known as soon as he had arrived, and you could practically hear the cheesy 80s love song playing in his head when Kunsel turned to look at him. There were almost literal stars in his eyes as Roche bounded over to introduce himself, and Kunsel had managed a lazy smile as he said hello. Roche had quickly discarded that, scooping his hand up to kiss his fingers, declaring him “starlight” and making Kunsel blush for the first time in recorded history. Now Kunsel is talking about some system he’s working on for his real job, and Roche is hanging on every word like Kunsel is the only thing in the world that exists. 

Cloud holds out the drink for Biggs as he moves back into the living room, flopping down in the only empty seat. Zack smiles at him, and Cloud blushes as he leans into Cloud’s space. He smells like fresh soap, with a hint of smoke underneath it all. He’s never been this close to Zack before. 

“An angel.” Biggs groans happily, toasting him and throwing back the drink. “An angel who delivers the blessing of alcohol.” 

Cloud snorts, folding his arms. “I’ve been there for two goddamn hours. The bartender is off for the night. Did we pick a movie yet?”

“ _ Well. _ ” Biggs says, giving Wedge and Zack a very pointed look and Cloud senses he’s stepped on a landmine. “I’m trying to make my case for Revenge of the Sith, but  _ somebody _ has a problem with it.” 

Zack snorts, leaning back on the couch and brushing against Cloud’s arm. “I don’t have a problem with it. I just think we should watch Empire Strikes Back instead.” 

“Why don’t we just watch Revenge of the Sith first and then Empire?” Cloud interjects, lifting a brow. “It’s not like we ever just call it quits after one movie anyway.”

There’s a pause, Biggs looking like something has just dawned on him. “Hey, we got a fuckin movie guys!!”

Cloud rolls his eyes, settling against his seat for a night in. 

They end up watching Attack of the Clones first, at Jessie’s insistence. They end up having a lot of debates over Anakin’s morality and as the night goes on and Cloud keeps getting drinks whether or not Han is a hunk or not, and when they finally do finish Empire it’s past 2 am. 

Cloud has found himself and Zack the only two awake, even if he is fuzzy with drink and warmth. Somehow they’ve ended up sprawled out over their couch, Zack’s hand idly tracing up and down his back as the credits roll. Zack’s chest is firm and strong under his cheek, and his heartbeat is slowly lulling his drunk ass to sleep. 

“You wanna watch the last one?” Zack murmurs, and Cloud pauses as Barret lets out a truly impressive snore. 

“Sure. I wanna see a twink win for once.” Cloud mumbles, tucking his cheek against his chest. Zack’s laugh is soft but it rolls through Cloud like a wave. The movie is starting, but it couldn’t hurt to rest his eyes for a moment…

The morning breaks bright and way too fucking early, and Cloud moans softly as his head throbs in pain. God, he’s never fucking drinking again. He lifts his head reluctantly, looking around the room blearily to see the destruction. 

Everyone else is curled together, either on the floor or on various pieces of Tifa’s furniture; it’s going to be a goddamn bloodbath when everybody wakes up.

“Hey.”

Cloud jumps a little: he had forgotten he wasn’t just sleeping on the couch alone. Zack smiles tiredly up at him, looking like he has just as much of a headache and somehow even less sleep. 

Cloud frowns a little. “Didn’t feel like sleeping?” He murmurs, rubbing his eyes. He’s more than a little mortified that he’d fallen asleep on Zack’s chest, wondering how much he fucking drank that he was able to pass out on somebody like that. 

Zack shrugs, stretching his arms above his head. “I had too good of a view. I didn’t want to miss out.” 

His grin is lazy and playful, but Cloud knows deflection when he hears it. He looks at him a moment longer, then slowly climbs off his lap. He’ll let it go. “Well. Hope you like your eggs extra greasy.” 

.O. 

The air is cold and crisp against Cloud’s cheeks, and he squirms away as Tifa tries to loop a scarf around his neck. “Would you stop.”

Tifa huffs, throwing the scarf at him. “Fine but don’t blame me when you catch hypothermia.”

Cloud kicks snow at her, hurrying to catch up with Zack before she retaliates. It was a Saturday trip to Barret’s favorite skating pond, and Marlene was hell bent on getting there before anybody else. Cloud doesn’t exactly know how he ended up here, but he attributes it to Marlene deciding he’s cool after he drew her as Mulan.

Zack smiles down at him, his light brown cheeks rosy from the cold, a hat crammed down over all that black hair. “You sure you’re keeping warm? Hate for you to turn into a popsicle.”

“Worry about yourself.” Cloud grumbles, pulling his coat closer. He has to admit, his stuff does look second hand and shabby, and it was to be perfectly fair. But he was warm, so it worked for him. 

Zack laughs, nudging him. “Somehow I think the cold has made your temper even worse.” Zack grins. “Why are you so grouchy.” 

“I become even more cold and bitter when the sun goes down at fuckin 4 pm.” Cloud says dryly, sitting down on a bench to pull his skates on. “Ben Franklin was a cock sucker.” 

“Language.” Vincent says mildly as he passes, looking very cozy in an expensive coat Cloud has no idea how he afforded. Cloud swats at him as he gets to his feet, pushing himself onto the ice in a smooth glide. Tifa is already on the ice with Marlene, spinning wildly on their skates as they laugh. Barret and Vincent are moving in a surprisingly smooth circle, and Cloud shares a smile with Tifa when he notices their joined hands. 

He did like this time of year; it brought back a lot of good memories. As he glides over the ice, smooth and graceful for once, he can feel a warm hand in his own, a woman laughing as he eventually pushes away to glide on his own. The easy feel of moving on the ice had driven him toendlessly pester his mother to find a similar sensation during the summer, and they had found it in pointe shoes and tights.

He knew now it must’ve a financial burden but his mother never let him miss a class, nor did she ever miss any showcase she could sit in on. 

His throat burns with the idea that as long as he was happy, she was willing to work even harder for him. 

After a few more graceful passes, he looks over at Zack, who’s… still sitting on the bench for some reason. He glides to a stop, putting his hands on his hips. “Are you just gonna stare or are you gonna skate?” 

Zack blinks, looking dazed, shaking his head a little. “Buh?” 

Cloud rolls his eyes, moving to the edge of the pond. “Are you gonna skate or not?”

Zack blushes, looking at the skates he borrowed from Barret. “I uh. Actually don’t know how to skate.”

“Then why did you say yes to skating?” 

Zack just smiles sheepishly, and Cloud rolls his eyes again. He holds out a hand, tucking his nose in his scarf. “Put your skates on.”

Zack looks surprised, but he obeys, and god his hand is warm even through his gloves. Cloud pulls him out onto the ice, feeling him wobble, so he pats his arm gently, Zack grabbing his other arm to stabilize. “Easy. I’ve got you.” 

He pulls Zack on to the ice, squeezing his wrists as Zack holds him tighter. Here, for once, he was steady. He nudges Zack’s feet into a better spot, briefly gliding on one foot. 

Cloud finally looks up, and his heart immediately does a back flip. 

Zack is looking him with stars in his eyes, and Cloud suddenly realizes this is the closest they’ve been since their movie night. If this was a movie, Zack might be going in for a kiss, and Cloud can’t tell if that is making his insides clutch in anxiety or anticipation. 

Zack smiles, looking for all the world like a lovesick puppy. “Yeah. You got me.” 

.O.

“Do you think Aerith will like this dress?”

Cloud glances over at her, shrugging one shoulder. “I think she’ll like anything you get her.”

Tifa makes a face at him, and Cloud sighs. “It’s a little too frilly for her I think. But I mean, she’s your girlfriend.”

Tifa chews her lip, but ends up putting it back. “She mentioned wanting something a little nicer to wear; I just want her to like it.”

Cloud pauses, glancing at her. She looked tired. “... she isn’t going to like everything you get her just because you’re her girlfriend. She’s going to like it because she knows you love her and you were thinking of her.”

Tifa hits him in the arm, but she’s smiling again. “What’s got you so jolly anyway? I haven’t heard anything supportive out of you for years.”

“Don’t expect it for a few more years.” Cloud says, deadpan, making Tifa laugh. 

“You’ve seriously been in a good mood these past couple weeks.” Tifa smiles, tipping her head slightly. “Anything I should know?” 

“Nope.” Cloud refuses to look at her, studying a rack of shoes as if Tifa hadn’t ready bought Aerith a pair of new boots. 

He can feel her eyes on him, but Cloud was just as stubborn so he refuses to turn his head. 

He finally looks when Tifa’s phone beeps, lifting a brow at her. “Aerith?”

Tifa lifts a brow, tucking her phone away. “Don’t worry about it.” 

“.... this is going to end poorly for me isn’t it.”

“Yep.” Tifa says with a grin.

.O.

On his own, Cloud braves the holiday crowds, smuggling the package home when he’s bartered with Biggs for a ride. He doesn’t mention what he’s done, because that would mean having to confront the fact that he went out on his own to get Zack a gift. It wasn't much, but he had still gone despite hating crowds and not having money to spare after his bills had hit. 

He wouldn’t think about it. It was just because he was excited for the holiday party, that was all it was. 

It didn’t have to mean anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was a doozy lads 
> 
> Next chapter is the holiday party! Yaaaaaay
> 
> I will be discussing past trauma in the next part, and I do not write noncon/rape, but stuff is implied more heavily in the next part. If that's not your scene please skip the next update. 
> 
> I promise its a happy chapter though! Cloud just has to work through some stuff and it wont be a big part.
> 
> follow me on twitter @shepardsaves for more clack nonsense


	4. Second Course

Cloud wasn’t the best at parties, but he tried. He wasn’t being given much of a choice, anyway, Barret having threatened his life if he didn’t turn up. Still, it was a night with friends, and Cloud needed one of those before he really turned into a recluse. 

He’s late- well, later than usual- and he thinks most people are here by now. He feels stupid, nervous, but hopefully people didn’t make comments. 

He has no idea what Zack fucking Fair is doing to him that he got him to actually try with his make up.

Barret opens the door and Cloud immediately regrets knocking. “What the fuck are you wearing.”

“Cloud!” Barret bellows, snatching him up in a hug. His sweater is bulky and soft, and it would be cute if it didn’t say ‘Celebrating with my ho ho hoes’. “Ya made it!”

“I’m leaving because of your sweater.” Cloud deadpans. “Put me down.”

Barret laughs and claps him on the back, guiding him into the house happily. “Cmon in, you’re late as hell! We’re already in full swing!”

The party was indeed in full swing, and it was a sight to see. Barret had gone all out with his decorations, and the house looked like Christmas and Hanukkah and every other winter holiday threw up on the place. There was music playing from Barret’s old sound system, and it makes the place feel cozy. 

Cloud jumps when he’s suddenly kissed on the cheek, Barret’s beard rough against his cheek as he’s squeezed. He jumps back out of the larger man’s grip, looking at him with a glare. Barret grins, pointing upward at the mistletoe hanging just inside the doorway. 

Cloud rolls his eyes, cheeks pink, suddenly noticing there were a lot of sprigs hanging from Barret’s ceiling. “What are you, fucking Cupid? It’s not valentines yet.”

“Ain’t nothing wrong with a little affection at the holidays.” Barret says with a wink. 

Cloud rolls his eyes, turning even redder when he realizes he’s going to be trapped in a house covered in mistletoe for hours with Zack. Unbidden, a vision of Zack drawing close to him in a doorway comes to him, his eyes soft and warm as he pulls Cloud to his broad chest, leaning in and- 

Cloud shakes his head abruptly, unsure if the way his belly was twisting was good or bad. This was hell. 

He makes his way into Barret’s house, nerves suddenly curling in his belly even worse than before. This was… fine. It was fine. He would make it through the night and it would be fun and chaotic with no romantic undertones whatsoever. 

“Cloud!” Tifa is hugging him tight before he can even notice, grinning and giving him a tight squeeze. “You made it!” 

Cloud huffs, patting her forearm. “Yes, hi, nice sweater, let go unless you want to break my ribs.”

Tifa smirks, setting him down. “You need stronger bones then.” 

Cloud rolls his eyes, groaning when she presses a kiss to his cheek. “Fucking mistletoe. Cmon, you’re gonna ruin my foundation.”

Tifa’s smirk only grows. “Make up huh? Wearing that for anybody in particular?”

“Nope.” Cloud says quickly, ignoring the knowing look on her face. “Where’s Aerith?” 

“She’s making drinks in the kitchen with Jessie.” 

Cloud cocks a brow. “Are you trying to give everybody alcohol poisoning?” 

“Oh cmon, they aren’t that…” Tifa trails off when Cloud’s other brow lifts. 

It only takes an exchange of glances before Tifa takes off to the kitchen. Cloud smiles slightly, leaning on a wall; Aerith meant well, but she thought it was way too funny to see the look on peoples’ faces when they realized how strong her drinks were.

He leans on the wall, after a quick glance up to confirm that there’s no mistletoe lurking above his head. It seems safe for now, so he decides to relax, scanning the party. It seems pretty tame so far, maybe-

“Hey Cloud.” 

Zack slides up to his side like he’s meant to be there, grinning down at him. Cloud’s stomach does a truly impressive flip, and he reaches up, playing with the sparkling earring in place of his usual silver stud. 

“Hey. You look…” Cloud’s eyes drop to Zack’s sweater, which has two incredibly buff reindeers on it for some reason: The ugly Christmas sweater industry was a mistake. “Festive.” 

Zack laughs, folding his arms and leaning on the wall with him. “And you look real pretty.” He says, eyes roaming over Cloud’s form. “Are you wearing lipstick?”

“No, my lips are naturally bright red. You’ve just never noticed.” Cloud said dryly, unable to help a small smile. Zack looks like he wants to lean closer, but he’s holding himself back; his large arms folded as if to physically remind himself. Cloud appreciates it honestly- he doesn’t always do well when men lean into his space. 

Cloud looks around the party, then back to Zack. “Seems like everybody’s feeling pretty festive. I’m glad it’s turned out well. Barret would get rowdy if we didn’t have a good time.”

Zack smiles, looking around as well. “Yeah, seems like it. Even Kunsel is enjoying himself.”

He looks at the couch, amused, and Cloud follows his gaze. Kunsel is curled up on the couch, tucked up against Roche’s chest as they chat, wearing a blue sweater decorated with stars of David. Roche is playing with one of his one of his braids he’s wrapped in ribbon, looking at him like he couldn’t adore anything more in the world. 

Cloud snorts. “Don’t they look like the perfect couple.”

“I’m happy for them honestly. Kunsel gets in his own head way too much. I’m glad he’s got somebody to get him to act like a lovesick idiot.” Zack hums, reaching up to play with his own earring. “One of us should be halfway functional.”

Cloud hums a little. “You seem pretty functional to me. I would’ve put my money on Kunsel being the half cracked one.”

Zack grins. “Oh he’s definitely the half cracked one but I’m somehow worse.”

Cloud laughs, bumping him gently. “Well. Least that doesn’t leave me with the worst issues of the group.”

Zack grins easily, bumping him back, but Cloud can feel that odd, lingering tension like that day in the diner, with Zack’s sour mood. It feels like Cloud has gotten close to a nerve, and it’s one of those moments where he feels like he should say something. He shouldn’t, actually: Cloud is actually the worst at consoling people, or letting people unpack. He’s barely able to hold down his own shit, he doesn’t know what to do to help someone with their own baggage. 

Still, though. He can’t help but want to help…

The moment is ruined when a cat leaps on Cloud’s shoulders, making him yelp. “Wedge!” He snaps. “Aren’t you supposed to leave your damn cats at home!”

“Sorry bro! Oh but hey!” Wedge scoots over, grinning wide and giddy. It could be just the mood of the party; or it could be the dozen kisses over his face the same shade as Jessie’s lipstick. “Come help us out! We’re gonna play Pictionary!”

Cloud snorts. “I don’t wanna play with your girlfriend. She cheats.”

“Awww cmon bro!” Wedge grabs his arm and yanks, clearly unwilling to let him go. “It’ll be fun!”

Cloud throws a desperate look back to Zack for a lifeline and finds nothing but betrayal, laughing as he waves at Cloud. “Have fun!”

He’s roped into several rounds of the game after being bribed with the promise of chocolate for every round they won. Granted, half the time it was chocolate liquor, but still. Cloud couldn’t turn down chocolate. 

He’s in the middle of a drawing (Biggs is shouting answers and Tifa is yelling at him that’s not how the game works) when a crash from the kitchen makes him jolt. Kunsel jumps nearly out of his skin, clutching at Roche as they’re interrupted in their kissing. “Jesus fucking wept, what are they doing in there?” 

Cloud rolls his eyes, setting the pad down. “I’ll go check. By the way, Aerith was right- it was an armadillo.” 

“Yes!”

Cloud leaves the living room as Aerith puts both fists in the air, relishing her victory. He hesitates for a moment, knowing that Barret was in there cooking. The man had issues with his prosthetic sometimes, but he hated to appear weak. He doesn’t want to make Barret’s mood worse, but if he needed help he didn’t want to leave him….

“Fuck it.” Cloud mumbles, pushing open the door and oh he immediately regrets it. 

“What the  _ fuck! _ ” 

Vincent jumps away from Barret, surprisingly spry for someone who was on his knees; Barret turns away, red in the face, and Cloud makes a face when he hears a zipper being pulled up.

“You two are at a party.” Cloud deadpans, “A party with a  _ lot  _ of people.”

“Don’t you have a boyfriend to hang out with.” Barret grumbles, red faced as he picks up the culprit of the crash, a large metal bowl that had been used for Barret’s brownies. 

“He’s not my-“ Cloud stops, looking back out into the living room with a frown. Zack had been happily spectating the game before the crash, but now he’s nowhere to be found. “Huh.” 

He steps out of the kitchen, looking around curiously. There were only so many places that Zack could go in the house, and once he’s exhausted those he finally decides to poke his head outside, shivering a little in the winter air. 

Zack is standing out in the snow by himself, shoulders hunched a little but whether it’s from the cold or discomfort, Cloud isn’t sure. He steps outside, wrapping his arms around himself and cursing softly at his desire to look nice rather than wear a thick sweater. “You okay?” 

Zack jerks around and smiles, but it’s strained. “What, me? Yeah I’m good! I just- I wanted to… see the snow.”

It’s a lame excuse that immediately falls flat, and the two of them stand silently for a moment. Cloud recognizes the expression of awkward agony on his face, a wish for the world to swallow him up whole. 

Cloud leans on the porch post, looking at him. “.... First question. What did your parents used to do for the holidays?”   
  


Zack looks at him, ankle deep in the snow. “... Mom and Dad aren’t really religious. Well. Mom kind of is, he celebrates yule… Dad would take us out to like three places to find the perfect tree, and even if mom complained we loved it. We loved to celebrate like this, just being together and giving gifts…”

Cloud smiles, eyes moving to his shoulders quickly and watching them relax a little. “That sounds like a lot of fun.”   
  
“It was…” Zack sighs, tucking his hands in his pockets, looking out over the yard but not really taking anything in. “... The last time we really celebrated together was my senior year of high school. Right before I enlisted and got shipped out. I was good. Talented. Made a special ops squad with Kunsel; we were the youngest ever.”

Cloud looks at him, quiet. The story was slipping out of him slow, but like it needed to come through, like water through a cracked glass.

“... I got hurt real bad out there. My unit… we were searching a building in Wutai and…” He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the memory like a pesky fly. “I didn’t hear it. Neither did Kunsel. All I knew is my guys kicked open the door and suddenly the world was on fire. I woke up back home a month later; Kunsel just got that scar under his eye- he said I got my chest cracked open like an egg.”

He looks at Cloud and smiles crookedly, but his eyes are so tired, more than Cloud has ever seen before. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to dump all that on you. I just…” He shakes his head, the wild strands of black hair brushing his face. “I’m just kind of a basket case. Just felt like I should warn you.” 

Cloud looks at him, the look on Zack’s face like he half expects Cloud to flee back inside, loudly tell everyone that he was a freak- “It wasn’t just my boyfriend.” 

Zack blinks, head tilting slightly in confusion, but then his eyes go wide in understanding. “Cloud…”

Cloud shrugs. “They didn’t even get arrested. My boyfriend’s dad was the sheriff, and they were his best friends. I just had to go back to school and deal with it.” 

“Tifa’s the only one who knows. She’s the one who took me to the hospital.” Cloud studies the post in front of him, eyes trailing over the wind chime Barret and Marlene made when she was small. “And I was fine. I could deal with it. Until my mom found out she had a tumor in her head.”   
  
Cloud hears Zack pull in a breath, but he doesn’t look at him. “I lost it after she died. I ran away. I did so many fucking drugs I’m surprised I’m not fucking fried; and I did horrible shit to get ‘em”

The memories make his throat burn, and he swallows hard around the lump in his throat. “You aren’t the only basket case. Not even close.”

“Cloud…” Zack crosses the yard, grabbing his arms but staying off the shallow steps so they stay at eye level. “I’m so sorry. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Neither did you.” Cloud replies, looking at him. “Just a shit round of luck.” 

They’re both quiet again, searching each other’s eyes, Zack reaching up after a moment, brushing the uneven bang out of his face, tucking the longer strand behind his ear. 

“You’re so beautiful.” He says softly, and his fingers are rough and warm as they trail over Cloud’s cheek. “I really don’t want to piss you off, but… God, I’ve thought it ever since I met you.”

Cloud pulls in a breath, his heartbeat pounding so loud in his ears it’s like it’s about to jump out of his chest. “.... Y’know. You’re lucky Barret is so thorough.”

Zack blinks, cocking his head again. “Uh. Why?”

Cloud glances up at the mistletoe, frosted with snowflakes. “Because of this.”

When their lips meet it’s like someone has yanked the rug out from under Cloud in the best way possible. Zack’s lips are warm and soft, a little chapped but it hardly matters. He can feel his stubble under his fingers, rough in contrast to the x shaped scar just above his jaw. His head spins when Zack leans into it, kissing him desperate and firm and as he pulls Cloud to his chest Cloud isn’t really sure who’s heart it is that’s beating that wildly-

“Ahem.”

Cloud jumps and turns, ready to murder whoever interrupted their moment. Biggs is leaning in the doorway, arms crossed and smirking in the kind of way that makes Cloud want to hit him. “Barret told me to tell everybody dinner’s ready. Unless I’m interrupting?”

“Get bent Biggs.” Cloud huffs, kicking snow at him. “Shut the damn door, you’re letting the heat out.”

Biggs grins despite his now wet boots. “Hey guys! Cloud and Zack are making out so they’re gonna be late!” He yells, pulling the door closed behind him. 

Cloud grumbles, his cheeks even pinker now, looking back at Zack. “He’s such an asshole I swear. I don’t know how Wedge and Jessie stand him.”

Zack doesn’t have an answer to that, just smiles wider, rubbing his thumb over Cloud’s cheek. Cloud leans into it, wondering when he got so soft. “We should head in; you’re probably hungry.”

Zack shrugs. “I can wait.” He murmurs, leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth. 

Cloud pauses, then shrugs, lacing his fingers in Zack’s black hair and pulling him in for another kiss. Dinner could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhh its been a while, sorry about that ^^;
> 
> Happy birthday Cloud you got a boyfriend
> 
> I think we're about halfway at this point! Hope y'all are ready :)
> 
> Find me on twitter @shepardsaves for more clack content


	5. Main Course

It turns out, having a boyfriend is actually pretty fucking nice. They’re met with almost literal cheers as they walk back in, and Cloud is grateful to have a thick arm to hide his face in. 

Having Zack as a boyfriend is exactly as annoying as he suspected. However Cloud has apparently gone insane because he craves his intense affections whenever they’re apart; not that they ever are for too long. Zack shows up after every shift, ready with several kisses and a warm hug that makes Cloud’s insides turn to mush. 

Zack and Kunsel take to being around more often like breathing, their group growing louder with the addition of Kunsel’s boyfriend, although no one really minded. Biggs and Wedge liked having a tie breaker for movie nights, and Jessie was grateful she didn’t have to placate her boyfriends so she could talk peacefully with the girls. Marlene was glad to have new people to adore her: as if that was an outcome that was ever in question. 

“You smile more.” Tifa said, soft and with a smile that makes Cloud turn away and busy himself with the checks, ears red. 

The truth was, he was… happy. He was really happy; just knowing he was just a phone call away from somebody who cared, who really cared for him was enough to get him out of bed. Zack made his heart do somersaults in his chest and he really couldn’t get a handle on it. It made him feel off balance, out of sorts, and it should make him panic. He’s spent a long time carving out a niche for himself in Midgar, making relationships with his friends and figuring out how to be a human again. The idea that a man could come in and shake every single thing up, could turn him and his head upside down, should terrify him. It does terrify him some days, when he sees Zack waiting for him at the end of his shift, a smile like a sunrise spreading across his face as he embraces him like he could engulf him wholly.

He wonders when it’ll wear off. He’s terrified of it and he wants it at the same time. He wants the fall sooner rather than later because he knows that if he doesn’t have time to get used to Zack and all his warm, perfect hugs it won’t hurt when Zack finally gets sick of him and leaves. 

For now, though, Cloud leans against his boyfriend, closing his eyes. They were having a movie marathon- they were on Howl’s Moving Castle- and Cloud smiles a little when Zack’s arm snakes around him, hugging his smaller body to him happily. It’s protective, and warm, and he’s probably being selfish to want this, but if the universe wants to make the mistake of letting him have this, he’ll take advantage. 

.O.

New Year’s Day is… interesting. Cloud hasn’t been around for the last New Years Party, but he’d appeared about a month later so he heard some stories. Zack was there, obviously, and oh he’s never seen as many fireworks as when Zack kissed him at the stroke of midnight.

“Pretty good way to start the year huh?” Zack says as he grins down at him, a golden streamer in his hair that fell from Tifa’s ceiling. 

Cloud smiles- he smiles so easily these days-, rubbing his hands over Zack’s broad chest. “Mmm, yeah, it’s okay.” 

Zack smirks, kissing him again. “One day I’ll soften you up, sunshine.” 

“Keep dreaming.” Cloud says dryly, a scream from behind making him jump. When he whips around it’s just in time to see Aerith tackling Tifa, who’s sunk down to one knee with the toll of the bell. 

“Well. Shit.” Cloud says, amused, as zack let’s out a supportive bellow of happiness, Aerith laughing and crying as she kisses Tifa over her face. “Apparently it’s in the air.”

.O.

Cloud doesn’t even want to talk about Valentine’s day- just that Zack fair was a ridiculous fucking romantic and he was going to kill Cloud one day. 

.O.

For as long as it took them to get together, it feels like they move very fast. Before Cloud knows it, he’s sitting in the passenger seat of Zack’s car, listening to Zack positively croon along with Elvis, his playlist rapidly shifting between the best hits of the 80s and the 90s but nothing too modern. Zack isn’t the best singer by any means, but the sheer enjoyment that rolls off him as he taps the steering wheel along to a Queen song and sings makes Cloud think he could listen to it for the rest of his life. 

“Mom and Dad are gonna love you.” Zack says as his playlist is shifting, grinning at him happily. “I haven’t brought anybody back to their place since Aerith.” 

“That doesn’t give me confidence Zack.” Cloud says dryly. “I’m coming in to compare to the physical embodiment of a summer day.” 

“Then it’s a good thing you’re my sunshine then huh.” Zack smiles, laughing as Cloud shoves him. “Hey cmon I’m driving.”

Cloud grumbles, looking out the window to hide his red face. “Shut the hell up.”

Zack’s parents house is cozy, ranch style, and as they approach the door Cloud can hear several big dogs barking in excitement. Zack laughs, pressing a kiss to his cheek as he knocks. “You got the whole welcoming committee to greet you.”

There’s a grumbling from the other side of the door, a soft call of “Cmon, cmon, back up.” and the sound of dogs scrambling back as the door opens, Zack’s father in the doorway. 

Cloud blinks and his head tips back as he looks up at the large, Native American man, his eyes going a little wide as he takes him in. The man rivaled Barret in size, his biceps making his sleeves stretch at the seams, his dark hair pulled away from his handsome face as he smiles at them. His cheekbones look like they could cut glass, and Cloud feels a little flustered just looking at him. The man radiates a calm, assured energy, and the way his eyes soften just a little at the corners when he sees Zack turns it into such a fatherly feeling Cloud is much more at ease. 

Zack grins, walking forward with his arms open, accepting a hug from the larger man. “Hey dad.”

“Son.” The man smiles, ruffling Zack’s hair playfully. Cloud was small compared to Zack, but his father made Cloud feel like he was looking up at a giant. “Didn’t bring any food for dinner? What kind of son have I raised.” The smirk on his face is playful, and Cloud smiles a little as Zack rolls his eyes and swats at him good naturedly. 

“Cloud made little cheesecake things.” Zack huffs, smiling over at him. “Cloud, this is my dad, Angeal. Dad, this is Cloud.” 

Cloud shyly brushes his hair out of his face, the bumblebee earrings Zack bought for him sparkling in the light as he holds up the dish. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

“And you.” Angeal turns that fatherly smile to Cloud, looking him over in interest. “So you’re the famous Cloud then? Zack hasn’t talked about anything else in months. He’s very smitten.”

Zack turns red as Cloud hides a smile, putting an arm around him. “Jeeze, just tell him everything why don’t you.” Zack grumbles, leading Cloud into the house. 

“Oh don’t worry, your mother’s got that covered. He’s already getting the photo albums.” Angeal grins, making Zack groan. 

It turns out, the barking he heard came from four dogs who are now incredibly excited to see their favorite person and someone new, and Cloud can see a German Shepherd, a pit bull, and a borzoi all sniffing around him. The last dog is a bit of a mystery, a mutt who’s absolutely about to wag its tail off, currently jumping on Zack as he coos and scratches his neck. 

Cloud manages to hand the tray off to Angeal, joining in the petting which makes the dogs all the more excited, sliding between Zack’s hands and Cloud’s. “You’d think they never see you.” Cloud teases as the pit bull jumps up, licking his ear.

Zack laughs, kissing between the German Shepherd’s ears. “They’re big babies, the lot of them.”

“So that’s your dad huh.” Cloud hums, stepping over the pile of dogs and following Zack into the living room. The resemblance was absolutely uncanny: from the warm brown skin to the strong jaw, it was clear Zack was Angeal’s boy. “Guess he’s got the dominant genes huh.”

Zack laughs, rubbing the back of his neck. “Actually I’m adopted. But we get that all the time. I don’t see the resemblance though.” 

“You’re kidding me.” Cloud deadpans. “You aren’t clones but you absolutely pass for related.”

Zack smiles and shrugs, and when he’s distracted by the dogs coming into the room for a second round of petting, Cloud moves forward, examining the family pictures on the walls. There’s a lot to be seen, Angeal holding a chubby baby on his hip, Angeal as a chubby baby, smiling at the camera, Zack who’s about four or five surrounded by dogs, grinning at his father, and one of a rather lovely red haired man standing on a stage. He’s clearly reciting lines to a play, and Cloud grows even more curious. He’s always liked theater- not that he ever had the money to indulge- so maybe if Zack’s mother was an actor they’d have something in common.

“Hey, Zack.” Cloud calls, glancing over. “Is your mom an actor?”

“Yeah!” Zack replies, two dogs in his strong arms. “He was in a play called Loveless for a really long time.” 

Cloud pauses, then looks at the photo again. Back at Zack, then back to the photo. No. No, it absolutely couldn’t be. He wasn’t dating the son of the lead actor of his favorite play. 

“Zack, is your mom-“

“Hello there.”

Genesis is in the other doorway of the living room, one hand thrown dramatically upward to rest on the doorframe. In all honesty it’s probably to show off the cascade of the sheer wrap he’s got around his shoulders, Golden thread sewn in making it glimmer as he shifts. His clothes are clearly expensive, wine red and hugging close to his body in the way only tailor made clothes are. “I heard…” here he actually pauses, tossing his red hair out of his face and exposing a dangling earring, looking at Cloud haughtily. “Our company had arrived.”

“Oh my god.” Zack deadpans, putting his hands on his hips as Cloud stands stock still, like a deer in the headlights. “Do you ever stop.”

“No.” Genesis says with a smirk, moving forward and offering a hand to Cloud. “Genesis Rhapsodos.”

“... Cloud Strife.” Cloud says, a little shyly, shaking his hand. “I didn’t realize Zack’s mom was…”

“Famous?” Genesis preens, looking like a cat with a belly full of cream. “He doesn’t like to spread it around, but yes. I acted for a very long time.”

“I saw your play.” Cloud offers, feeling his stomach twist a little. “I mean. It was a bootleg of loveless, but still. You were really good.”

Genesis looks at Zack, lifting a brow. “You better marry this one. He’s the only one with good taste.”

“Mom!” Zack’s face turns a deep red, pushing him. “Oh my god, I’m going to help dad.”

Genesis moves over, wrapping an arm around Cloud’s shoulders. “Good. That gives us more time to bond.”

Zack looks at the two of them and Cloud can hear the alarms go off in his head, so he smiles gently at him to reassure him. He would be fine… he’s pretty sure. 

When Zack leaves, Genesis gently guides Cloud to the couch, sitting him down. Cloud doesn’t really feel like he can fight it, a surprising amount of strength in his manicured hands. 

“So.” Genesis fixes him under his blue eyes, intense and stern. “What exactly are you planning with my son.” 

“Wh-” Cloud looks at him in surprise, taken aback. “What am I planning? What you think I’m gonna kill him? What the fuck do I get from that?”

He probably shouldn’t be as defensive as he sounds, but he’s caught off guard; Zack hasn’t softened him up that much that he didn’t immediately snap to biting back.

“Don’t joke with me.” Genesis’ tone is cold, frosty. “What do you want from him? Because if you aren’t serious about my son you can get out of my house. He’s been through hell and back and I’m not about to let a brat from the city break his heart.” 

Cloud bristles at that, his hackles automatically raised: the jab about his feelings for Zack makes something fire off inside him, burning hot and angry with an intensity that surprises even him. “I dunno who the fuck you think you are but you don’t know a thing about me. I wouldn’t be with Zack if I didn’t want to be. I’m a piece of shit but I’m not a total asshole.”

“Do you love him?” Genesis snaps back, glaring at him. “Because I can tell you he loves you- and I won’t accept anything less than someone who treats my son more than he deserves.” 

“I-” Cloud hesitates, feeling that same lump in his throat he does whenever Zack looks at him, with those eyes that are so full of love, the two of them breathless from kissing. Did he love Zack? He didn’t know. Love was a scary word, a scary concept. He couldn’t even begin to think about it, think about how much he felt for Zack. “... I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about him. And I wouldn’t bother yanking him around because I’m bored. I’ve known people who do that shit and I don’t have the fucking time for it.”

Genesis is looking at him hard, and it only makes him puff up more. “Zack is a good person. He’s a great person. And yeah he deserves better than me but- but if he wants to love me then I’m gonna do my best to deserve it.” 

Genesis looks at him for a long moment, Cloud feeling like his heart is pounding in his throat. After a moment, Genesis’ face softens: there’s lines around his face now, less a fierce protector and more a man with his family. “Well, he certainly takes after his father. Both of them are attracted to people who are too bitchy and feisty for their own good.”

Cloud starts to bristle again, but he forces himself to stop and think. It’s not said as an insult; just an observation. He makes himself relax, looking at him as Genesis turns his gaze to the photo album in his lap. 

“... Zack was adopted. Did he tell you that?” He waits for Cloud’s nod, opening up the book. “Angeal got a call, very late at night. I was annoyed, the department calling away my husband at 11 pm… he came back with a baby.

“His parents were dead; slaughtered in a home invasion. We couldn’t find any relatives, and we didn’t want him to go into the system. Well, Angeal didn’t- I wasn’t sure about being a parent. I didn’t think I could do it.” 

He slides the album over to Cloud, showing him a picture of an exhausted but happy looking Genesis, holding a chubby baby wrapped in a brand new baby blanket, only a few months old but already with a head of thick black hair. “But one day I looked into that little face, and I just… I realized that I wanted nothing more than to see him safe and happy.” 

Genesis slides his finger along the page, turning it as he shows baby picture after baby picture: playing with Angeal, birthday parties, first days of school, playing with a little black kid Cloud recognized as Kunsel, mushed between his parents in an apple orchard. It’s practically the picture perfect childhood, and Zack’s smile lights up every picture he’s in, his puppy fat slowly melting away as he grows, time passing in an instant with the turning of a page. Cloud can’t help but smile when they get to high school, Zack in a football uniform, Zack looking shy but happy as he holds Aerith’s hand, both of them clearly ready for prom, Zack crammed into a cap and gown, Angeal looking proud in his dress uniform, Genesis looking exceptionally weepy but immaculate as always. 

“... He was always so happy. He never stopped smiling.” Genesis says softly, “All throughout his childhood he was like a sunbeam. Angeal called him his puppy. And he was so proud when Zack joined, when Zack was promoted so quickly…”

Genesis takes a moment, blinking a few times to get a handle on himself. “... We got another call, late. One in the morning. Angeal answered because I didn’t want to get up.” 

“He was back from Wutai.” Cloud doesn’t need him to explain, he knows exactly what he means. Genesis nods mutely, tears in his eyes. 

Cloud can’t help but feel awkward as the silence stretches on, unsure of how to respond. He’s not the best at comforting people; nobody would ever say that. Still, he reaches out, setting a hand on Genesis’ wrist. He hopes that’s enough. 

Surprisingly, it seems to be. Genesis pulls in a shaky breath, covering Cloud’s hand with his own and taking a deep breath. “... It was a miracle that they survived.”

The page turns, and Cloud pulls in a breath at the photo; it’s clearly shot by somebody in the hospital with incredibly poor taste. Zack is the center of the photo, laid out in his hospital bed, so many tubes and wires coming out of him it’s unreal. His chest is wrapped up like it’s all that’s holding him together, his ribs obviously cracked open. Kunsel is on one side of his bed, a large bandage wrapped around his cheek. His blue eyes are exhausted and haunted, but he refuses to fall asleep. Genesis and Angeal are on the other, both asleep as they lean on each other, neither of them looking like they’ve gotten much rest. 

“It must seem odd to keep this one.” Genesis says softly, and Cloud turns red as he basically reads his mind. “A nurse made a recovery scrap book for me. This was the only one I could stomach… one that reminded me what my baby went through. That I’m lucky to have him here.” 

There’s a new photo- Cloud hasn’t noticed him turning the page- and it makes Cloud’s chest ache. 

Zack and Angeal are standing outside of a fire house, an arm around Zack’s shoulders. Zack’s head was still close shaved, but his hair was clearly getting thicker; Cloud can see the tip of a new scar over the top of his shirt.

What is making his chest squeeze tight though is his face: Zack is serious, stern. His blue eyes are empty, far away. The joy that lined his face was nowhere to be found in this Zack. 

“We’re so lucky that he came home. We really are. But…” Genesis looks sadly at the picture “... He hasn’t smiled. Not in the same way since he came back. It’s like he left something over there. Something he couldn’t fix… until he met you.” 

Cloud blushes, but he doesn’t look away when Genesis looks at him. “When he came home for the first time after he met you, he couldn’t stop smiling. I haven’t seen him smile the way he does around you in years.”

Cloud looks at the picture again, tries to compare that Zack to the Zack he knows: the one who bench presses Marlene during parties, who sings wildly off key to karaoke songs with Kunsel when they’re drunk. The one who helps Cloud carry Tifa and Aerith’s shopping bags, cheerfully making jokes all the while. The one who focuses so intently on a motorcycle as he coaxes it into running smoothly, the one who looks at Cloud like he’s seeing heaven whenever Cloud pulls back for breath while they’re kissing. 

“.... then I guess I’ll do my best to keep making him smile.” Cloud says quietly, simply.

Genesis smiles, warm and soft and a little dewy eyed, reaching up and setting a warm palm on his cheek. “I know you will Cloud.”

“Hey!” The moment is broken by Zack bounding back in the room, cocking his head. “You two done gossiping? Dinner’s ready.” 

“Oh good.” Genesis rises to his feet, and Cloud is honestly impressed because he looks perfectly unbothered, as if he wasn’t almost in tears a few moments ago. “I’m starved.”

Cloud stands as well, following Genesis but he laughs as Zack snags him by the waist, pulling him in close. 

“Hey, so, mom didn’t tell you anything embarrassing about me did he?” He asks, already starting to pout at the indignity.

Cloud can’t help but smile, pulling him down and kissing his cheek. “He told me you wet the bed until you were three.”

“Mom!” 

.O.

Dinner passes by in a flash that surprises Cloud, leaving with praise for his dessert, left overs, and an invitation to come next month (“With or without Zack” Angeal had joked, which earned him an elbow in the ribs). Cloud is back in the passenger seat of Zack’s van, both of them full and happy, and Cloud can tell Zack’s tired because he only hums along to his playlist. 

Cloud looks over at him, his lids lowered a little, wondering if it’s worth breaking the silence. “So. Your mom said you were in love with me.”

Zack’s shoulders jump as the words leave his mouth, his cheeks and ears turning red as he looks at Cloud sheepishly. “Ah… guess you talked a lot huh.”

“A little bit yeah.” Cloud hums, looking at him. “... Do you love me?”

Zack looks at him, his eyes softening a little despite his embarrassment. He pulls over, taking his hand when they stop on the side of the road. “... Yeah. I really love you Cloud.” 

Cloud looks at him, and suddenly feels like he’s being smothered, pulling in a breath with difficulty. It’s one thing to hear it from Genesis, one thing to feel adoration and affection in every touch, but it’s entirely another to hear it stated as a simple fact. Zack loves him. Zack Fair was in love with Cloud Strife. He should say something back, he should say it back, Zack deserves that- not his stupid, selfish baggage. “I… Zack, I-”

“It’s okay.” Zack, ever gentle, far too good for him, stops him as he fumbles, trying to force the words out. “You don’t have to say it back. And don’t apologize.” He says, cutting off Cloud’s next attempt. “I don’t need you to force it out. I just want you to know how much I love you.” 

It’s Cloud’s turn to tear up now, climbing into Zack’s lap and kissing him desperately, rubbing his thumb along the X carved into his jaw gently, feeling heat enclose him as Zack wraps him in his arms. He tries to put everything he can’t say into that kiss, into their fierce expression of affection, and the way Zack sighs into the kiss and holds him tighter makes him think that everything just might be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See y'all in chapter six :)
> 
> find me on twitter @shepardsaves


	6. Palette Cleanse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh cloud I love you so much 
> 
> TW for a panic attack ??? 
> 
> I promise the next chapter will be sweeter ♥
> 
> find me at @shepardsaves for clack nonsense

Cloud should’ve known it was too good to be true. It was all too damn good to be true. 

After the night with Zack’s parents, it was more of the same, warm arms wrapped around him in a tight hug after every shift, dates squeezed in between work and class and whatever else, parties that more often than not would involve them sneaking off for a break, furiously kissing as soon as they were alone, pulling and grabbing at each other like they needed to be closer than even skin to skin. 

They’ve…  _ touched _ , of course they have. They’re in their twenties, and Zack was hotter than the fucking sun so Cloud doesn’t think he can be blamed for being unable to keep his hands to himself. Whenever they press close, desperately kissing over and over, when the heat of the moment gets to be too much, Cloud has slid his hands under Zack’s shirt to feel over his muscles because he thinks he might die if they aren’t close.

It doesn’t hurt that every time they touch like that Zack makes a sound sweeter than a prayer; Cloud thinks he could get drunk on the sound alone. 

Zack doesn’t seem to be sensitive about much, letting Cloud slide his hands over his skin and the hair on his body, but he’s never let Cloud pull his shirt all the way off. He always catches those thin wrists, pressing kisses to them as he buries his face in Cloud’s neck, sucking marks into his skin until he makes him sing. Cloud assumes it’s because of the scar: in his endless desire to touch every inch of Zack’s body, he’s got a rough idea of how far it goes. It splits him diagonally, from collar to the top of his hip, and sometimes when Cloud can’t sleep images of Zack’s body, hanging open like a broken hinge dig into his brain. 

Those are always bad nights.

Still, though, they are happy. Thinking about pushing farther makes anxiety swell in Cloud’s throat so for now he just… lets it be. They kiss in hallways, on balconies, whenever they can be just tangled up in each other like they can’t bear to be apart. 

.O. 

Much to Zack’s chagrin, Genesis and Cloud get along like a house on fire. Cloud considers it payback for how Barret and Zack were immediately like white on rice; teasing Cloud and swapping workout stories. 

The look on Zack’s face when he checked Cloud’s phone for some video and saw his mother’s number still makes Cloud laugh. 

It’s nice to have somebody else who’s artsy in his life. As interested and invested as his friends tried to be, none of them really got where the source of Cloud’s passion came from, how drawing made him feel free. Genesis, though- you got Genesis a glass of wine and got him going about a play and he’d rant about Andrew Lloyd Webber for the greater part of 2 hours. Nobody else could really match that energy when Cloud wanted to bitch about a project he had been researching for two weeks and wanted to vent to let off some steam. 

It’s through this closeness that Cloud finds himself fiddling with the straps to his dress nervously, riding in the back of a ride share to a gala Genesis had invited him too. It was for some up and coming painter Cloud admired, and the second he had mentioned he was having a showcase Genesis had snapped up tickets. It was mostly going to be a fancy night, lots of rich people, but Genesis had insisted on Cloud seeing it in person, rather than just waiting for pictures to appear on Instagram.

Cloud wasn’t exactly  _ thrilled _ , but Zack had promised to be there, along with Angeal and Genesis, so he supposes he can live with being completely out of place for a night. 

He climbs out of the car, his heels clicking on the pavement, and he smooths out his shimmery white dress as he looks around the crowded steps. It was warm, a nice spring night as the world finally shook off the last remnants of winter, which was good for him and his thin straps; The dress was loaned from a designer at his school, a man named Andrea (Cloud did some modeling for him for side cash), and as nice as it looked he clearly hadn’t bought it from the same places the others had. He worries the clasp of the little bag Tifa had given him, wondering if this was a mistake. 

“Cloud!” 

Cloud turns his head and can’t help but smile, Zack barreling toward him through the crowd and wrapping him up in his arms. Cloud sighs softly, letting his eyes slide shut as he hugs him back, the tension easing out of him. Zack was here; he’d be okay. 

“You look so beautiful.” Zack murmurs in his ear, pulling back to look over him greedily. “I might have to steal you away before some rich guy gets any ideas.”

Cloud smirks, pushing his face. “Don’t be an idiot.”

Genesis looks lovely as always, one of Angeal’s strong arms around his waist as they chat. Kunsel winks at him as Zack helps him up to their party, having gotten a Best Friend invitation. Both Angeal and Zack look like they’ve been poured into their suits, and Cloud can’t help but preen a little when Zack catches people’s eyes, and when he pulls Cloud close. He was Cloud’s, he picked Cloud, and the thought makes something swell in his chest. 

.O. 

It had been a wonderful night; Cloud had never had so much fun with something he was passionate about. 

Zack pulls him in, kissing him sweetly on a cheek. “I gotta take a work call, gorgeous. Let me know if I gotta fight any handsy rich guys when I get back.” 

Cloud nods, sipping his champagne. “I make no guarantee I won’t have earned a mink coat by the time you come back.”

Zack smirks, biting his cheek. “I’ll see you in a minute.”

Cloud finishes off his glass, pulling away from his little group of guards to head for some food. These rich people parties were stuffy, but he wasn’t about to complain about the catering. He pokes around the food table, humming as he tries to think of how to describe how the shrimp was cooked so Tifa could make it later. 

“Cloud?” 

Cloud’s shoulders seize up, feeling like cold water is pouring down his insides. He knows that voice. He  _ knows  _ that voice. He had hoped he would never hear that voice again. 

Cloud is numb as he turns his head, barely managing to acknowledge  _ him _ . He’s saying something, but it feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room, compressing his lungs and making his heart pound in his ears. His hands are trembling, holding as tight to his plate as he can so he doesn’t drop it. Goosebumps have broken out across his skin, it feels like the very air is pressing down on him, constricting him.

“You look real good… it’s been a while since I’ve seen somebody look this good~”

He’s- no no no no he’s touching him no he doesn’t like this,  _ his  _ hand is on his hip, pulling him closer and no no no no he doesn’t want this no no no no stop-

“You wanna get out of here?”

“Is there a problem?”

Like an angel, Kunsel is suddenly there, and though he’s not nearly as big as Zack or Angeal he easily shoves between them, knocking the man’s hand off Cloud’s waist. 

“Hey, I’m just-“

“You were  _ just _ getting handsy with my best friend’s boyfriend.” Kunsel’s voice is shockingly cold, not that Cloud can hear it. His heartbeat is still roaring in his ears, and he’s shaking from head to foot. He can’t, he can’t be here, he was shattering, he was going to break, he hadn’t even been able to fight back, again, he had to, he had to-

The plate shatters as Cloud drops it, and he’s off with a flash of bright white. 

.O.

“And here is the chicken caesar, for the  _ prettiest _ customer I’ve ever had.” Tifa says with a grin, setting down a bowl in front of Aerith. 

Aerith giggles, picking up her fork. “Careful. I’m engaged~” she teases, letting out a little squeal of delight when she sees that Tifa has arranged her tomatoes in a heart. “Babe!!”

Tifa laughs, leaning over the counter and kissing her cheek. “I gotta say it’s kind of nice not having the boys around. It’s not so loud.” 

“And it’s a lot less gay.” Aerith says with a smirk, leaning in to catch Tifa in a kiss. “Especially with Cloud and Zack always making eyes at each other.”

“Imagine being gay.” Tifa says with a smile, bumping their noses. “Couldn’t be me.”

The door opens with a sudden  _ bang _ , making Tifa and Aerith jump. 

Zack and Kunsel stumble in, Kunsel pushing up his glasses as he looks up at them. His eyes are a little wild, a little panicked, more disheveled than Tifa has ever seen him. 

If Kunsel is panicked, Zack is a wreck. His shoulders are tight with anxiety, his eyes wide with shock and worry, his hair falling out if it’s ponytail, and as soon as he’s in the restaurant he starts to pace like he can’t stay still.

“Is Cloud here?” Zack barks out, looking between Tifa and Aerith as if demanding answers. “Did he show up?” 

Tifa looks at Aerith, eyes wide, finding matching shock on her face. Panic starts to rise in her belly, twisting a dish towel in her fists. “No. Why? I thought he was with you?” 

“He ran.” Zack pushes his hands through his hair, knocking over a chair as he shoves past it. “He freaked out and ran and I can’t get him on the phone. I left him alone and something bad happened.” 

Kunsel huffs, looking at Tifa who’s anxiety is only getting worse. “Some guy was getting all in his business and I told him to fuck off. He freaked out and ran before I could talk to him.” 

“A guy?” Tifa frowns, tipping her head. That doesn’t make any sense; Cloud could handle being hit on, he didn’t like it but he could handle it.

Kunsel huffs. “Yeah, some rich lawyer. Brown hair, kind of a country accent; apparently his dad was a retired sheriff and sponsored the event.”

Tifa sucks in a breath, digging her nails into her dish towel. No. No no no, he couldn’t be here. “Did he have a tattoo behind his ear? A star?”

Kunsel blinks, looking at Zack in confusion. “Uh.. yeah, he did. It was kind of faded but-“ 

“Fuck.” Tifa pulls her phone out, fingers shaking as she types in Cloud’s number. “Fuck, fuck you, pick up the phone.” 

“What? What is it?” Zack says sharply. “Who was that guy?”

“That was  _ the  _ guy, Zack.” Tifa says quietly. 

Zack’s face is utterly blank for a moment, looking like he’s processing, and in a sudden moment he shakes off his jacket, shoving a holster into Kunsel’s hands. “Fucking hide this. Before I go back and kill that mother fucker.” 

Tifa bites her lip and turns away, unable to handle the sight of the agitated Zack. She hugs herself as the phone goes to voicemail again and again, gripping it tighter. Please, please please, she doesn’t want Cloud to do this again. He’s come so far, he’s done  _ so  _ much, he can’t do this again. 

Aerith’s touch is warm and soft, comforting her gently as much as she can. “It’ll be alright, Tifa.” She says quietly. “Cloud will come back soon. He’s come really far. He won’t stay out too long.” 

.O.

Three days, and there hasn’t been a word from Cloud; Zack was starting to come apart at the seams out of worry, and Tifa had finally had enough. The knock on his door is quick, rapid, and she shifts anxiously as she waits for him to answer. She really hadn’t wanted it to come to this but now… well, Cloud wasn’t going to find himself was he. 

Zack appears in the doorframe, looking disheveled and on edge. His hair was wild, dark circles under his eyes like he hadn’t been sleeping. Even his tank top was rumbled, messy and unclean over his tense body. “Tifa? Any word from Cloud?” 

Tifa’s eyes soften at the request, frowning deeply. He looked so desperate, she hated not having better news. “No, but get dressed. I wanna follow up on a lead.”

Zack looks at her, eyes studying her face. “... What kind of lead.”   
  
“The kind of lead I need back up for.” She said grimly. “And you might want to bring your gun.”   
  


.O.

Wall Market was  _ loud,  _ bright in a way that Tifa could tell was grating on Zack’s poor nerves. She reaches out, gently squeezing his arm as they walk through the crowded, messy streets. People bump into them as they pass, and it only puts Zack more and more on edge as he has to weave through people who are drunk out of their skulls, singing and laughing and stumbling towards their next indulgence. 

Tifa comes to a highly ostentatious door in the center of the sprawling area and knocks, glancing over her shoulder at Zack. “You okay?”   
  
Zack makes a face, but he nods. “I can’t believe this place still exists. Right in the heart of Midgar too, it’s fucking ridiculous. Dad’s tried to get this place shut down so many times but nobody ever listened.” Here, he looks at her sharply, his eyes trying to find some meaning in her face. “Why would there be a lead on Cloud here. I can’t think of a place that would set him off worse considering how the guys around here talk.” 

Tifa sighs, pushing her hair out of her face as the doors open. “... When I first got started, I bought an oven second hand. Real cheap, but it looked fine from the outside. Cloud told me I shouldn’t buy it but I didn’t have the money for a nicer one. I thought it would be fine…”

She looks down at her feet. “... There was a short in the wiring, a lot of shorts actually. The kitchen caught fire; nearly took the whole place with it. The insurance wouldn’t cover it since I bought the oven second hand. I was gonna be ruined before I even really made it… Cloud was still in a really, really bad place, but he came here, talked to a few guys, and got me another loan. More than enough to build up again.”

Tifa shakes her head, looking at him. “He thinks I don’t know. But he stuck his neck out for me and they….” She sighs, looking away. “... There’s a lot of vices here too. If Cloud had a breakdown like before… well. I can’t think of an easier place to go.” 

They’re finally ushered into the main chambers when Tifa finishes talking, a man with silver hair looking at them shrewdly. “Tifa? What do you want?” 

“I’m here to talk to your boss, Leslie.” Tifa huffs, tugging her gloves to straighten them. “I’m looking for a friend.”    
  
“He won’t see you.” Leslie puts his hands on his hips, eying Zack warily. “He’s in the middle of picking his wives.” 

“Then I’ll make him see us.” Zack snaps, suddenly aggressive in a way Tifa has never heard before. “If this asshole knows where Cloud is I don’t fucking care if he’s writing the fucking constitution, I want answers.” 

Leslie looks less than impressed, looking over at Tifa. “Jeeze. Where’d you pick this guy up?”

“Just go get the Don, alright?” Tifa sighs, and Leslie simply shrugs as if to say “alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you”, leaving the room as silence settles around Zack and Tifa. 

For all his talk, they get an audience surprisingly quickly, the large man coming in and grinning wide at the sight of Tifa, like a fat spider spying a fly caught in its web. “Well well, what a pleasure to see such a lovely lady waiting for me! Tell me, what can I do for you, beautiful?”

Tifa’s face goes hard, and she folds her arms over his chest. “I want you to tell me if you’ve got Cloud here. I’m not leaving until I find him.”

The way Corneo’s face lights up when she says Cloud’s name makes her shiver; she had never pried into how exactly Cloud got the loan for her restaurant, but given what she new about the man in front of her and where Cloud’s mind had been at the time, it couldn’t have been anything good. 

“Oh, Cloud, I miss that little spitfire.” He sighs, reaches up to twist his mustache thoughtfully. “I should’ve made a better deal with him. I didn’t realize blondie was so willing~”

Tifa feels movement next to her as she’s processing her disgust, and it’s in a split second that she thinks she probably should’ve brought back up for her highly traumatized, worried sick bodyguard. 

Zack has Corneo over his desk in an instant, slamming him down hard enough to crack the wood. “You perverted old fuck, what the  _ hell  _ did you do to him?!” Zack snarls, his muscles tight with anger. “Where’s Cloud?!”

Corneo makes a noise of outrage and struggles, and Tifa would almost laugh at his arrogance that he could believe he could break out of Zack’s hold that easily. “I haven’t touched the little whore, alright?! Besides, he was the one who agreed to the terms, he’s a little-”   
  
“Corneo!” Tifa says sharply. “Have you seen him or not?”

Corneo sneers, still holding onto Zack’s wrists. “And why should I tell you? If he’s here it’s none of your-”

He’s cut off by a howl; Zack has twisted his hand somehow so, while still holding him secure he has a grip on his hand, and with a twist and an audible  _ pop  _ snapped his wrist. 

“You keep fuckin’ talking I’ll break your fucking arm.” Zack’s voice is little more than a growl, and he squeezes his hand tight enough to make Corneo whimper. “Now, answer the fucking question; have you seen Cloud or not?”

“N-No!” Corneo gasps, Zack definitely crushing one of his fingers in his tight grip. “No, he’s not here! I haven’t seen him since last October!”

Zack nods, then twists his arm again, and Tifa winces at the clear sound of Corneo’s arm snapping. “Good. You ever come near Cloud again and I take your fucking head.”

“... Well. That was eventful.” Tifa manages when they leave, looking at Zack. His face is dark, set, refusing to look at her. “... Zack, I…”

“Hey.” Kunsel’s voice makes her jump, the other man leaning on the bridge that leads to Corneo’s place. His face is inscrutable, looking at Zack. “I know where Cloud is.”

.O.

“How’d you even find out about this guy?” Zack frowns, looking at Kunsel. “I thought I told you you didn’t have to look, I’d take care of it.”

Kunsel, ever loyal Kunsel, just shrugs. “He made Cloud’s dress. Wasn’t that hard to figure out.” 

Andrea had let them in graciously, a worried look even on his handsome face as he did. Cloud had apparently shown up at his place three nights ago, and had been having a melt down ever since. 

Andrea lets them into a loft room, fabric and half finished clothing strewn everywhere, mannequins and models half dressed amongst the chaos of sketches and designs still halfway out of Andrea’s mind.

In the very back of the room was a bed, in a mess of blankets lay a head of gold. Cloud lifts said head with a sniff, wiping his face even though he’s long run out of tears. His eyes, so tired, so completely  _ sad,  _ go wide at the sight of his friends. 

Zack lets out what sounds like a sob of relief, flying across the room before any of them can comment. He wraps his arms around Cloud, blankets and all, and hugs him tight to his chest, burying his face in his neck. “You’re okay. You’re okay. Cloud, you’re okay…”

Cloud doesn’t move for a moment, seemingly frozen, before he slowly starts to move, setting his hands on his back and closing his eyes, fresh tears he didn’t know he had welling up in his eyes. He hugs him back, tucking his face into his chest. 

“I’m okay.” He whispers it, like a plea, like a prayer. “I’m okay…”


	7. After Dinner Mint

The ride back is quiet, tense. Cloud is curled up in the backseat of Tifa’s old truck, wrapped in Zack’s arms. Zack is holding him like he’s scared he’ll bolt the second he lets him go. Cloud fiddles with a patch in the leather seat, refusing to look up at Zack. His heart is still racing, pounding in his ears. He knows this was bad, he knows he fucked up: he doesn’t want to look up into Zack’s face and see the disappointment in his pretty eyes.

He doesn’t want this, them, to be over.

Tifa pulls up to Zack’s place quietly, looking at them in the rear view mirror. “We’re here.” Her voice is soft, timid. Cloud hates that it’s his fault she sounds like that.

“Thanks, Tifa.” Zack’s voice is soft, with a touch of gruffness there. He sounds tired; again, cloud feels a pang of guilt. They’ve been running themselves ragged trying to find him, and he’d tried to disappear forever. He didn’t deserve them, this family, and the thought makes him curl up tighter in his arms.

“Don’t ask, Reno.” Kunsel’s voice cuts in sharply as they walk into his house. Cloud can vaguely see a shock of red hair over Zack’s arm, their third roommate watching them with wide eyes. Kunsel breaks off from the duo, heading for his ground level room declaring himself “fucking bushed”. Cloud closes his eyes as Zack carries him up, up, up, to the second floor, closing the door behind him.

Zack’s room was cool, comfortable. The air conditioner rumbles quietly in the background as Zack sets him down on the bed. Cloud looks down at his knees, running his finger along a worn part of the sweatpants he was wearing. Andrea had found for him. Zack is looking at him, he can feel his gaze on his head, but he’s too ashamed to lift his head. He’s only ever done this once; and this, somehow, is even worse than being found in a back alley by Tifa.

“Cloud.” Zack’s voice is measured, even. Cloud can feel the stress, the confusion, the emotion rolling off Zack, but he’s doing his best to keep it together. He didn’t want to scare Cloud: he was still thinking about Cloud’s feelings, even now. “Cloud, honey, I need you to talk to me.”

“What do you want me to say.” Cloud’s voice sounds strange in his ears. It’s rough from days of crying, of disuse- his throat hurts. He wants water, he wants to sleep, he wants to hide from everybody he knows and claw his skin off until he looks and feels like someone who’s worth all this worry. “I freaked the fuck out. I bolted. End of story.”

“I want to know what you’ve been doing.” Zack says quietly, still staring at Cloud’s face.

“You mean drugs? Fucking other guys?” Cloud says bitterly. “You did find me in Wall Market. I wouldn’t blame you if you were expecting to catch me turning tricks so I could buy blow.”

“Cloud…” Zack sighs a little, he sounds frustrated. His guts twist even more at that- he doesn’t know why he’s doing this. He doesn’t know why he’s talking to Zack like this, Zack who has always been so kind to him, Zack, who loved him.

 _You don’t deserve it._ The voice in his head hisses, making Cloud fold in on himself tighter. _You don’t deserve his love. All you deserve is to rot._

“It’s fine, you can say it.” Cloud spits the words out like shards of glass. “I’m a fuck up drug addict who looked like he was going to fall off the wagon again. If I wasn’t so pathetic and didn’t spend all my time crying I’d blow the first guy I met to get a fucking gram.” Why is he doing this? Why can’t he shut up? He’s shattering all over again, he doesn’t mean this- “I know that’s what you guys think of me. Just standing around waiting for me to fuck up so you can cut me off- who wants to be around a fucking drug addict anyway? You just want an excuse and I don’t fucking blame you, I’m such a mess, I’m a shit person, I’m a god damn asshole and it would be better if you all just got on with your fucking lives and left me alone.” He doesn’t think he can even cry anymore, everything feels balled up tight in his chest and shoved up behind his ribs. “You- fucking hell, you deserve so much better than my dramatic ass, you should just break up-”

“Stop it!” Zack snaps, his voice louder and harsher than Cloud has ever heard. It makes him flinch, looking up at Zack with wide eyes. Zack looks… looks _angry_ , he’s never seen him angry before…

“You don’t know what the hell I've been through, and you don’t know what the _hell_ I think about you!” Zack’s breathing is hard, labored, it sounds like it’s all twisted up in his lungs. “Don’t you know how _worried_ I’ve been? How goddamn sick I’ve been every fucking night? I couldn’t sleep because every time I closed my eyes I’d see you dead in a ditch, or thrown out of some guy’s car, or-”

He turns away from Cloud, sliding his hands through his hair in frustration. He looks like he might rip it out.

“How many times do I have to tell you I love you before you believe it? How many times do you have to see and hear how _much_ we care about you before you start realizing that people give a shit about you? You had us going crazy trying to find you, Cloud, you were-”

He’s whipped around to look at Cloud again, and Cloud can see his eyes go wide, shoulders slumping as he basically melts, looking like a kicked puppy. “O-oh, shit, oh cloudy, sweetie, baby, sunshine, no don’t cry….”

Was he crying? He looks down at his sweatpants again, and yes, there they were: fat teardrops had stained the fabric, another one rolling off his cheek and peeling off slowly, hitting his legs with a little force. How long had he been crying? He certainly couldn’t feel it.

Zack moves over to him, gathering him up in his arms like he’s small and hugging him tight. He’s held so close to his chest, it’s like Zack is trying to protect him from all the wrongs in the world just by cradling him in his arms.

“I’m sorry.” Cloud’s voice is small, almost squished as though Zack was holding in his voice too. The fight has gone out of him, wanting to feel cold and harsh but he can’t manage it. Not when Zack is holding him so tight. He’s just… sad. But Zack is like a balm against him, gently fitting the shattered pieces back together. “I’m sorry I worried all of you.”

Zack lets out a breath, nuzzling the top of his head gently. “.... we’re just glad you’re okay.” He says softly.

Cloud rubs his face, tucking against Zack’s chest. He’s so… just. Tired. “... I never expected to see him again. And when I did I just… I panicked. I’m sorry. I should’ve gone to you, not…”

“Shh, no, baby…” Zack slides a hand through his blond hair, kissing the top of his head. “I shouldn’t have left you. It was an unfamiliar situation, I shouldn’t have left you alone…”

Cloud frowns a little, looking up at him. “... Zack, you couldn’t have possibly known he was there. It wasn’t your fault. I should be able to be alone without having you hover over me in case I freak out.”

“I know, I just…” Zack sighs, shaking his head and tucking his face in his hair. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

Cloud looks at him, rubbing over his chest. “... I love you, Zack.”

Zack blinks and looks at him, his eyes going wide. “Cloud…”

Cloud uncurls a little, shifting so he’s sitting astride his lap, cupping Zack’s face. His chest still feels tight, stuffed full, but he knows this is right. It scares the hell out of him, but it’s _right_. “You make me so happy every day… happier than I ever thought I could be. And I know… I know you say it’s no problem, but I know I’m a lot: I couldn’t love you more for loving me no matter how I am… I love you for always making me feel safe, for making me want to be _me_ again. I just.” He pulls in a shaky breath. “I just want to do everything I can to make you happy. I love you, Zack Fair.”

Zack stares at him for a beat, another, then a slow, warm smile spreads over his face, reaching a hand up to cup his cheek. “Cloud… I love you too. I love you more than anything, sunshine.”

The whole week has been hell, he’s tired and tears are still falling down his face, but the uncomfortable ache in his chest is gone: his chest has loosened up and filled with the same warmth that always comes when Zack expresses his love. Only this time it sinks into his bones, wraps around his nerves like his brain will finally let him believe it- Zack loves him. Zack Fair _loves_ him. Zack Fair is in love with him.

“I love you.” Cloud murmurs, leaning into his touch. “I’m so in love with you…”

Zack brushes the overly long bang out of his face, touching his cheek. “Can I kiss you?”

Cloud smiles, pressing a kiss to his thumb. “You don’t have to ask to kiss me you know.”

“I know. I just want to.”

It makes something squirm in his chest, something he again doesn’t have time to address, so Cloud just pulls him in, kissing him slow and sweet. Zack kisses him back, sliding a hand into his blond hair to hold him close.

It’s not even close to their first kiss, but something is… shifting. Something warm, urgent is sinking into his veins as they kiss, and Cloud curls his fingers in Zack’s hair to anchor him as the desire to keep him near rears in his chest.

Zack’s tongue slides against his mouth in question, and Cloud parts his lips for him. The air starts to feel charged, their kisses getting deeper and frantic like always, Cloud’s hands starting to slide over Zack’s body while Zack’s remain anchored to his hips. The other man lets out a rumble deep in his chest when Cloud slides his hands under his shirt, and it makes Cloud whimper. Zack is so utterly fucking _attractive_ , everything about him making his nerves feel like they’re on fire: he _needs_ Zack, needs him so bad he might die if they taper off their kissing this time.

Zack’s shirt comes up, up, up, and their eyes meet for a moment. Zack looks like he wants, staring at him absolutely torn. Cloud meets those hungry eyes, bumping their foreheads. “I love you.”

Zack lets out a breath, the edge of it turning into a growl that scrapes up Cloud’s spine, making him shiver. “I love you too.” Zack breathes. Permission. Cloud pulls Zack’s shirt off over his head, and, oh.

Zack’s scar is unmissable. Cloud’s estimation had been right: it stretched from his collarbone to his hip, dark hair growing freely on his chest except for that line of scar tissue. Zack looks like somebody pulled him out of Cloud’s head, sliding his hands over his warm, brown skin. He can feel how strong Zack is, in every line of muscle and _god_ he’s already wet, those big hands cupping his hips like he could grab his waist and feel his fingers touch.

Cloud pushes him back, Zack going easily and laying out on his bed. Cloud slides down his body, laying gentle bites on his neck- Zack lets out a breathless chuckle when Cloud bites his Adam’s apple- but the noise dies as Cloud slowly, deliberately presses kisses to his scar, moving down to his heart and nuzzling there. He looks up at Zack, making sure he knows he’s doing this on purpose, before he slides down, kissing his belly and nosing down through the thick curls. At the core of him, Zack’s smell is nearly intoxicating, a hint of spice and clean and just manly, something that makes Cloud’s head pound with want as he slides his tongue over the lines in his hips.

“Cloud…” Zack breathes out, sliding a hand down into his blond hair, smoothing it gently and letting the strands slide through wildly. “You don’t have to…”

“I want to.” He does, he really does. Yes, being this close, the implication is making him nervous; but this is Zack. Zack, who he loved, who he trusted, who deserved to have something given back to him. The sound of a zipper descending is loud in Zack’s room, and though Cloud’s mind threatens to bring up the jagged memories of prom night, it’s blown away as Zack let’s out a shaky breath above him, propping himself up on his elbows to watch.

It figures that Zack wouldn’t wear underwear.

Cloud lets out a shaky breath, pulling his dick out of his pants with a sigh. God, he’s big, bigger than Cloud’s seen. He strokes his dick slowly, muscle memory taking over as he squeezes around the base. He’s done this before, but he makes himself be slow, makes himself not make it mechanical; he’s not doing this for drug money, he’s doing this to hear Zack moan low, tipping his head back as Cloud strokes his dick.

Good, that was good. He wanted Zack to feel good. Zack swells quickly in his hand, and Cloud wraps a hand around his balls and squeezes; that always got a good reaction. As Zack is arching off the bed, spitting curses, Cloud slides up, pressing the head to his soft lips and rolling his tongue over the slit. His foreskin slides down nice and easy, and he rolls his tongue around the fat head before taking him in his mouth.

His eyes slide closed as he starts to bob his head, sucking at his dick like he wasn’t born to do anything else, stroking it in time with the slide of his mouth against his skin. Zack’s breath hitches as his tongue presses against a vein just under the head, and Cloud basically purrs as he rubs up against it. Zack’s thighs press inward, involuntarily and just for a moment, but god it’s real hot. Zack’s thighs were like steel, the strong muscle effortlessly pushing Cloud closer, sliding more of his cock into his mouth as tears sprung to the corner of his eyes-

A hand on his forehead makes him grunt a little, Zack pushing him up and off his dick. Cloud can’t help it: he pouts at him, a line of saliva still connecting his lips to his cock.

“Shit, you’re gonna kill me.” Zack breathes, his pupils dilated so those pretty eyes are nearly black, heaving him up and kissing him eagerly. Cloud lets out a whine, soft against his lips, and kisses him back, cupping his face and sliding his fingers into his hair. They make out for a few minutes before Zack rolls him onto his back, grinning breathlessly down at him.

“Not fair that you’re the only one eating.” Zack teases, sliding his hands under Cloud’s shirt, slow and cautious.

Cloud looks up at him, looks over that handsome face that he loves so much, and though anxiety is still curling in his belly he _wants_ more than he’s afraid. He grips his wrists, pushing his hands up his shirt until those big, rough palms are cupped firmly around his breasts. “Then get to it, puppy.”

Zack’s eyes go a little wide as he feels his breasts under his hands, and yeah that was probably a little forward but they’re doing this. Cloud’s breasts aren’t… small, which is fine when he’s feeling feminine but he’s definitely had a hell of a time finding a binder.

“Oh wow.” Zack murmurs, almost a little dazed as he squeezes his chest, leaning down automatically when Cloud pulls his shirt off. He shivers as Zack’s tongue slides over his chest, rolling his tongue hot as a brand over his pink nipple, sealing his lips around it to suck until it’s a hard peak. Cloud moans and lifts into it, his face red as Zack starts to play with his other nipple. He wants to freak out, wants to phase out like he always does, but it feels good. It’s so stupid to say but it feels amazing; it’s slow and hot and pleasure is burning through his veins with every swipe of his tongue, Zack pulling off to drag over the other nipple. He’s sucking them until Cloud is squirming, wondering when the hell his body got _this_ sensitive.

Zack’s stubble scrapes over his soft skin, and Cloud idly notes that Zack hasn’t shaved in a few days. Zack is between his legs before he knows it; he presses a kiss to the bend of his knee, slowly sliding his lips down his thigh as Cloud’s breathing picks up. This is it, this is real, and Cloud covers his face with his hands as he breathes quick and a little shaky.

“Hey.” Cloud’s fingers part, and he looks down at the man between his legs. Zack is looking up at him, his blue eyes watching his face. “You okay?”

It shouldn’t be so fucking endearing to hear him ask permission, but it is. He reaches down, rubbing his thumb against his cheek gently. “I’m perfect, Zack. Keep going.”

Zack smiles, kissing the pad of his finger as his hand withdraws. Cloud presses his hands against the headboard, turning red as Zack sinks down deeper.

The first touch of his tongue against his slit makes him jump; and he nearly kicks Zack when he feels a soft laugh against his skin. Prick. His tongue returns, gentle and apologizing, and his thighs relax again. Zack spreads him open with his thumbs, Cloud letting out a breathless, nearly inaudible moan as the flat of his tongue slides over his folds, slow and careful. Zack laps at him gently, rolling his tongue over him achingly slow. Zack is lapping at him like he’s something delicate, something precious; it’s making him squirm, feeling like he’s going to burst out of his skin. He isn’t used to slow and sweet- he’s used to selfish and quick and it’s making his heart nearly beat out of his chest. He reaches down, pulling at his hair gently. Zack looks up curiously, his tongue half hanging out of his mouth, his jaw starting to glisten from how wet Cloud already is.

“You don’t… you don’t have to do that.” Cloud says with a huff. “You don’t have to go slow.”

Zack’s eyes go soft, turning his head to kiss his palm. “I want to. I want to make you feel good.”

Zack presses back between his legs at that, hefting his legs over his shoulders and burying his face between his legs. Cloud may have made a mistake, telling Zack he doesn’t have to be tender. Now, Zack seems determined to drive him wild. Zack’s tongue is utterly persistent, licking him open, sliding in and out of him with a practiced ease that leaves Cloud breathless. Whenever he starts to squirm, Zack pulls him back by his lips, pressing and rolling and sliding in tirelessly to get Cloud so wet it makes his lips and chin and cheeks shine. Where on earth did he learn to eat out like that?

“Ffffuck, fuck, shit, wait-” Cloud gasps, pushing him back with the heel of his hand on his forehead. Zack pouts, his chin and jaw near dripping with slick as he licks his lips. It’s real hard to not let Zack get right back to work, but it’s not what Cloud wants. He pulls Zack up, legs sliding off his shoulders, cupping his face and kissing him sweetly: his own taste on his tongue makes his toes curl.

“I want you inside me.” Cloud murmurs, addressing a mole on Zack’s neck because god, meeting his eyes when he admits that might make him self immolate. “I love you, I want you to fuck me so bad…”

Zack rumbles, a shockingly tender noise for how hot Cloud finds it, and coaxes him into another kiss. “I got you baby…” he murmurs, putting Cloud’s legs around his hips.

Cloud has to cover his face with his hands as Zack eases his dick into him, sliding into his folds with a little resistance; Zack has licked him until he felt open and soft, but it’s been a very long time since he’s had something inside him. His breath starts to speed up with the stretch, heart pounding again, and the next thing he feels is Zack’s gentle kisses against his fingers, starting to pull out. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here…”

“No.” Cloud’s legs tighten around his hips, holding him. “Keep going; I’m okay. It feels really good…”

Zack pauses, pressing a gentle kiss to his jaw. He presses in deep, letting out a low moan as he bottoms out. “Fuuuuuuuck, baby, fuck, you feel amazing…”

Cloud can’t speak- he can barely breathe as Zack starts to roll his hips. Sliding in and out, it feels like Zack is pushing at his guts; he was so fucking _big_. He wraps his arms around his neck, digging his nails into those powerful shoulders. It’s the most stable thing right now, Zack’s broad shoulders rolling as he rocks into him.

Zack moves his hips in a gentle rhythm, sliding from base to tip with a wave of motion, his body a line of muscle and strength as he slowly presses down on him. His arms go around Cloud’s middle, hugging him to his chest. Cloud sucks in a breath, his eyes squeezing shut as he tenses, ready for the panic-

Panic that doesn’t come.

Zack is holding him close, his weight on Cloud’s body. Cloud is basically pinned to the bed, and he should be panicking but he’s _not_ ; Zack’s body is so warm, and comforting, the feel of his stubble and the hair on his chest dragging against his soft skin sparks nerves all along his body. He’s not scared; he isn’t scared at all. He feels _wonderful_.

He tucks his face into his neck to hide how overwhelmed with emotion he is, hugging Zack tight and squeezing his eyes shut. Zack moves slow and deep, Cloud’s clit brushing his lower belly with every rock of his hips. He makes love to him like they have all the time in the world, like nothing matters except the slow, gentle thrusts Zack is doing. Their hips move together in a rhythm, almost graceful as they quickly fall into place against each other: like they were made for each other, to fit like pieces of a puzzle.

“Zack.” Cloud gasps, pressing open mouthed kisses to his neck as he’s overwhelmed with sensation. It’s been so long since he’s felt good like this, and Zack is wildly beyond anything Cloud has ever had. Almost embarrassingly quickly, he feels his legs start to shake, his body wet and open and yielding as pleasure starts to curl tight in his gut. “Zack, I’m going to….”

“Come for me, sunshine…” Zack whispers in his ear, and Cloud is incredibly embarrassed that those words are all it takes. He falls apart in his arms, squeezing his eyes shut as he shoots past the moon and stars and ends up somewhere in the Milky Way, gasping through his shockingly intense orgasm. The pure emotion makes it all that more intense, Cloud’s head flopping back on the pillows as he gasps for breath.

Zack moans when Cloud comes around him, his fingers digging into his hips and it’s like he wakes Cloud up. As he lifts his head, he finally notices how tense Zack is, balls deep inside of him as he watches Cloud’s face. Cloud can’t help but smile tiredly, wrapping his legs back around his waist and pressing his heels back into his lower back. “Keep going.” He murmurs

Zack lets out a breath and grins shakily, starting to thrust into his pliant body again. “I love you baby.”

It’s almost too much, his body shockingly oversensitive, but Cloud bears it for the expression of pleasured concentration on Zack’s face. He leans up, dragging his tongue over his jaw and laughing breathlessly at Zack’s prolonged groan.

Zack really doesn’t need much either; it only takes a handful of thrusts before he pulls out, stroking himself furiously until he moans, coming over Cloud’s folds and his belly, cum spurting over his skin in thick, sticky lines.

Cloud and Zack stay there for a moment, breathing hard and deep in the heat of an afterglow. Zack eventually flops down next to him, placing a gentle kiss to his cheek. “Good?”

“Amazing.” Cloud says with a slight smile.

“... I wanna eat you out again.”

Cloud lifts a brow, spreading his legs. “Well, you’re not eating anything just laying there.”

.O.

Things are quiet, calm again. They’ve been wiped down and collapsed into bed: Cloud is running his fingers up and down his arm idly, Zack’s breathing slow and deep as he holds him to his chest, an arm wrapped around his chest as they lay together. Cloud knows it’s late, some time past midnight, but he can’t sleep. Something is digging into his brain, something he can’t shake. It’s something Zack said, the memory of waking up hungover on Zack’s chest and seeing him looking like he hadn’t slept. The expression in the photographs, after Zack had been sent home after his men were killed. The slump of his shoulders as he admitted someone died in a house fire he was at.

Cloud turns in his arms, sliding up and they’re face to face. Zack smiles, cocking his head curiously. “Something up, sunshine? You want another round?” Zack teases, wiggling his brows happily.

Cloud doesn’t bite, reaching up and cupping his face. “It wasn’t your fault.”

Zack blinks, looking confused. “Huh?”

“Me, getting freaked out. It wasn’t your fault.” He slides his thumb over his cheek, eyes darting over his face. “... it’s not your job to protect everyone. And it’s not your fault if bad things happen. You aren’t a bad person because you can’t save everyone. You’re human.”

Zack’s smile has dropped, his eyes going incredibly wide. Cloud is digging into a hell of a soft spot, he knew, but he presses on. He brushes his hair out of his face, looking at him. “Nothing is going to happen to me, to us. You can rest.”

Zack opens his mouth and closes it, looking for some kind of quip, something to say, but he comes up empty. His eyes search Cloud’s face, looking almost afraid, like he’s looking for any hint of doubt so he can shut out Cloud’s words. Cloud bumps their foreheads, meeting his gaze. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

“Cloud, I…” Zack swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing uncertainty.

Cloud bumps their noses gently. “Twenty questions. Do you know how much I love you?”

Zack finally lets out a soft laugh, smiling weakly and Cloud can see tears in the corners of his eyes. “Not nearly as much as I love you.” Zack whispers, pulling him into a kiss.

Cloud closes his eyes, leaning into his kiss, wrapping his arms tightly around his chest.

“... My turn… stay with me?”

Cloud presses a kiss above his heart, gently. “Always.”

.O.

Sunrise comes far too early for Cloud’s taste, and he grumbles as he stirs. It’s way too early for Cloud to even be conscious, and he cracks one eye open irritably.

He’s ended up on his back, and Zack’s much larger form is sprawled out over him. Zack’s mouth is open as he snores, looking more at peace than Cloud has ever seen him. Cloud smiles tiredly, sliding his little finger down the bridge of Zack’s nose: if he wasn’t feeling affectionate before, he certainly does when Zack wrinkles his nose in his sleep.

Love is heavy and sweet in his chest, and Cloud closes his eyes again, wrapping his arms around his neck as he drifts off.

They weren’t perfect; but they would be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The boys are healing <3
> 
> Only one more chapter to go! See y'all at the finish line


	8. Check Please

The light filtering into the back room of the church was a little ethereal: it casts a soft glow on everything, keeping it warm and soft and gentle. 

Cloud fixes his tie in a long mirror, and for the fifth time that day tries to flatten his soft spikes. It doesn’t really work, and Cloud just sighs as his hair springs right back up. Seems like he’s eternally cursed. 

A soft, low wolf whistle slides through the room, and Cloud turns with surprise. Zack is standing in the doorway, eyes trailing over his form as he grins. “Damn, baby, and here I thought you looked great in a dress.” 

Cloud snorts, leaning up to accept a kiss from him as Zack walks over, sliding his arms around his hips. “Don’t you have something to do?”

“Nah. I’d rather come see you.” Zack grins, nuzzling their noses together. 

Cloud smiles- so easy around Zack these days- and kisses him again. “Isn’t everybody supposed to separate on wedding days? Isn’t it bad luck or something?” 

Zack shrugs, kissing him again as soon as their lips separate. “Eh. I’m sure they’ll survive.”

“Hey!” Zack and Cloud turn in surprise, Tifa standing there with her hands on her hips. She wants to look annoyed, but mostly it’s a mix of nerves and amusement, her hair hanging elegantly in front of her face and her make up soft and pretty. “Zack, stop harassing my commander in chief. He needs to help me with my dress.”

Zack snorts, looking at him. “Commander in chief?”

“Maid of honor sounded weird.” Cloud answers, moving over to help Tifa cinch up her dress. 

Zack snorts, looking at him fondly. “Whatever you say, sunshine….”

The wedding is beautiful, bright and open and warm, plenty of natural light filling the church that’s absolutely overrun with flowers. The bridesmaids on both sides look beautiful, and Zack and Cloud smile at each other across the way. 

“You look handsome, man of honor.” Cloud murmurs. 

Zack tips him a wink as the music starts. “Back at you, Cloudy sky.”

Aerith and Tifa are positively radiant as they walk down the aisle, both of them holding onto Barret’s broad arms. The man is puffed up incredibly proudly, his prosthetic covered in flower stickers courtesy of Marlene, already tearing up. Barret gives them both a kiss on the cheek when they finally reach the altar, letting them go so they can join hands. 

Honestly, Cloud tunes out most of the ceremony, flowery words and ceremony that he’s never really cared for. That isn’t to say, though, that he doesn’t feel a lump grow in his throat when Tifa barely gets through her vows before she starts to cry. Zack isn’t so lucky, having to turn his face away with how earnestly Aerith, face shining with love, says “You  _ found  _ me, Tifa.”

Soon enough, they’re at the reception, and the happy couple looks like they’re over the moon, laughing and hugging and hardly going a moment without kissing each other. Cloud finally takes a seat once Barret, probably very fucking drunk, whisks Zack off his feet, which is impressive in itself. Cloud is happy to have a break honestly: as fun as it was to dance with Zack he didn’t nearly have the stamina.

He scans the room; Kunsel and Roche are slow dancing, both of them with their hair in buns, Kunsel resting his head on Roche’s shoulder and keeping his eyes closed, looking at peace. Jessie, Biggs, and Wedge are gathered at a table, Jessie absolutely beaming as she caught Tifa’s bouquet. 

(Cloud had caught Aerith’s and immediately given it to Marlene, refusing to make eye contact with anyone.)

Vincent is sitting off to the side, in quiet conversation with Aerith’s mother. Him and Barret had had a  _ lot _ of conversations regarding his suit, and how he couldn’t wear all black to a wedding. To Vincent’s credit, he wasn’t in all black; the shirt underneath was blood red, something Cloud is sure made Barret close his eyes, sigh, and declare good enough. 

There’s a light tap on his shoulders and Cloud looks up in surprise. A tall, Asian man is looking down at him, his silky hair falling over his shoulders, hair pulled back partially and looking near immaculate.

“Hello. You must be Cloud.” His voice is deeper than Cloud’s expecting, and he tips his head as if Cloud is something mildly interesting under a scope. “Have you seen Zack?”

Cloud arches a brow. “Who wants to know?”

“I’m a friend.” The other man says, still keeping his voice even. “I came to say congratulations to Aerith: I’m just looking to say hello to Zack.”

Cloud studies him carefully: he’s tall, wrapped in a suit that looks like it's tear jerkingly expensive. He’s calm, oriented, but there’s a slight edge to him, subtle but it’s there. You’d only really notice it if you were paranoid or suspicious.

Or if you’re Cloud, you’re both. Some habits never really die. 

Tseng huffs, the corner of his mouth lifting despite himself. “I’m not planning on attacking him at a wedding. I just want to say hello.” 

Cloud eyes him, frowning as he stands. “I’ll get him. You stay here.” 

“Of course.” He murmurs. “... You’re good for Zack.”

Cloud gives him a sharp look. “Why do you say that?”

“You protect him.” Tseng says simply. “If he’s going to try and protect everyone, he needs someone at his back as well.”

Cloud’s ears burn, and he turns away before he can acknowledge it. It makes warmth bloom in his belly, yet another person complimenting them on how well they fit together. It makes him think this whole mess may have been with it. 

He slips into the crowd, away from Tseng, away from the gentle, tight feeling in his chest. 

.O. 

It’s been 7 months, 1 week, and 2 days since the day Zack and Cloud kissed on Barret’s back porch. Cloud’s birthday was coming up; school was starting soon for this part time art student, his final year. He was relieved, mostly because he could stop paying so much for classes. It really was highway fucking robbery how much people were charged to go to college. 

(A smaller, quieter part of him was also in awe he made it this far- he was about to graduate, get a degree.)

(He wonders if his mom would be proud of him.)

The shower is loud in his ears, water sliding down his pale skin as he scrubs at himself. His fingers slide over a bite mark in the juncture of his neck, turning pink as he contemplates how exactly they got there. His apartment shower wasn’t nearly as nice as the Zack’s bathroom, but it got the job done. Or at least it did, until Cloud had visitors. 

Zack’s arms are so warm, so strong as they slide around his waist, Zack pressing up against his back and idly resting his chin on Cloud’s shoulder. He has to compress himself a little to do it, but they manage. The sensation of his wet stubble rubbing against his skin, combined with being held to the slightly rough hair on his chest, is a sensory experience enough to make Cloud’s nerves sing.

“Can I help you, sir?” Cloud huffs, but there’s no bite to it. Zack just huffs through his nose in amusement, kissing his shoulder. 

“Maybe you can.” He grins a little, sliding a hand down to drag a finger through his slit, gently breaching with just the tip to roll over his vulva.

Cloud’s breath catches for a moment, turning red. He’s… well really he’s more than okay with having sex with Zack nowadays, he loves it, but that doesn’t mean he’ll ever get used to Zack’s hands on his body. Especially when he pushes into already slick folds, making Cloud brace himself on the shower wall as come starts to leak out of him. 

Cloud bites his lips, face heating up as he fucks his finger into him lazily, as if Cloud needed to be warmed up anymore. “We just did this y’know. At this point you’re just playing.” 

Zack grins, but pulls his finger out anyway, a sticky strand clinging to his fingertip. “Maybe.” He hums, hands coming to grip his hips. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t like it~”

He pushes in easily, Cloud still worked open from before, and both of them moan low as Zack slides into him. Zack leans against his back, wrapping one arm around his chest and the other sliding under his thigh, lifting it up to hold him open as he starts to thrust into him. 

Cloud is really glad for the rush of water in his ears, because he knows from experience he sounds extra wet when they do this, Zack’s eager thrusts pushing cum back out of him and making it drip down his cock. 

It’s quick and dirty- they’re both still over sensitive from their first round- and Cloud closes his eyes as Zack simply holds him closer, basking in their afterglow. It’s warm, and makes him feel sluggish, like there’s no need to move or speak or do anything to break the gentle calm over both of them. Zack noses through his blond hair, pressing light little kisses over his skin and the nape of his neck. 

“Move in with me.” Zack suddenly murmurs, pressing his nose into his neck. Cloud opens his eyes, taking a second to look back at him. 

“... you sure? I’m a huge bitch in the mornings.” Cloud murmurs. “And I’m messy.”

Zack smiles, kissing his nose. “Think it would be worth the trade, especially if I get to wake up to that face every morning.”

Cloud turns red, his chest squeezing tight again. He really was going to fight him one day, making his chest feel all warm and full of love. 

“... yeah, okay. If you’re prepared for me.” Cloud mumbles, face hot. 

It’s a relief when Zack pinches his nipple, making him yelp so he doesn’t moan and smack him. 

.O. 

The year passes by with almost frightening speed. Cloud’s birthday is fun, and shockingly he even enjoys the surprise party they throw for him. Somehow, Tifa had managed to get Angeal and Genesis up for the day without breathing a word to Cloud- although he was trying to stay out of their business since they were newly weds and all. It had been massively entertaining to watch Angeal and Barret puff up at each other like oversized birds over the grill; he’d been wondering who was bigger ever since he met Angeal and it turns out the answer is they’re about the same size. 

Halloween is a lot more rowdy, with the mix of their friend groups, and Thanksgiving with Genesis and Cloud actually makes him feel like he fits in outside of his friends.

Cloud and Zack have their anniversary dinner a few days before Christmas, so they don’t overshadow Barret’s party. It’s intimate and warm and 

And  _ God _ , Cloud has never been so in love. He’s never been so happy. He had a family, a big, sprawling, extended family, he was getting closer to graduating; he didn’t think he’d ever get to this point. He didn’t think he’d ever enjoy his life this much. 

“Hey, spike, you still with us?” 

Cloud blinks out of his reverieve and looks up. Biggs is looking at him, lifting a brow. They’re setting up for Cloud’s final expo, and Cloud had been standing there, holding one of his paintings and staring into the distance. Cloud blushes, hanging up his painting with a huff. “Yeah yeah, I’m here.”

“Here and looking good.” Zack chimes in cheerfully, coming out of a back room with another stand. He lowers his head obligingly for Cloud, who stands on his tiptoes to take back his ID. “Why do you have a spooky back room only students can access?” 

“To cover up our cult activities.” Cloud says dryly, pressing a kiss to his cheek in thanks. 

Zack snorts, throwing a cover over the stand. “Makes sense honestly. Art school is weird enough.”

“You’ve got no idea babe.” Cloud huffs, unable to help a smile as Zack brightens at the pet name, like he always did when Cloud was outwardly affectionate.

The night begins, and honestly Cloud doesn’t remember most of it. He’s too nervous, lots of people gathered to look at his art- well, it wasn’t just his art, it was everybody’s final expo- but it still doesn’t help his nerves. His friends showed up, of course, mostly sticking by his display but eventually they do start to mill around. Zack, ever supportive, was sitting with Cloud, joking and praising as much as he can to ease his nerves. Genesis and Angeal were there as well, Genesis sticking by his other side and making snide remarks about the other displays to make him smile.

It’s shockingly busy, honestly- he didn’t expect so many people there. Even professors from their sister school where they took non-art related credits were there: Cloud can see his psychology professor, with his flaming red hair pulled into a ponytail, leaning down to whisper into his stern looking husband’s ear- Cloud always wondered where the shorter man got that X shaped scar on the bridge of his nose. His physics professor is there as well, his partner looking stately and proud, broad and wrapped in a black dress hat barely holds their bulk. Honesty, Cloud doesn’t really know how the two of them even got together- his professor looked like an old chew toy, a scar on one side of his face and an eyepatch on the other, and his partner was tall and broad and absolutely beautiful. 

Well, he supposed him and Zack weren’t exactly an expected couple either.

Even Cid and Marlene were here, Marlene being held by Vincent on his hip as he chats with Cid, Barret coming to kiss his fiancée’s cheek as Cid pretends to gag. 

Before he knows it, the night is over, and Cloud can breathe. It’s over, it’s all over. All he wants to do is go home, have a beer, and maybe sit on his boyfriend’s face; might not be in that order. It’s like a ball of stress has just been lifted off him and it’s time to relax as much as he’s able. 

The cleanup is almost finished, Zack waiting in the front hall to give him a ride, but suddenly he freezes, looking sheepish. “Oh shit- I think I dropped my wallet in the spooky back room.”

Cloud rolls his eyes, tucking his hands in his pockets. “Ghost probably has it now, it’s too late.”

Zack looks at him, giving him those damnable puppy dog eyes. “Babe?”

Cold groans, rubbing his face. “I’ll be right back. Go get the bike warmed up.” 

The place is almost eerily quiet, but Cloud doesn’t mind it so much. He’s been in much worse places, so a quiet art building doesn’t scare him much. It gives him time to think, and now that his heart isn’t in his throat over the direction of his expo he can reflect.

Zack, as sweet and supportive and wonderful as he had been, had been nervous. He hadn’t been able to sit still- which to be fair was normal- but it was even more so than usual. He’d kept fiddling with his button up, sitting down only to stand right up, putting his arm around his shoulders and pulling it back. At one point, too, he’d caught him slipping out to speak with Angeal, Genesis throwing him a little too much of a knowing look when he thought he wasn’t looking. 

He’s sure it was nothing- Zack was probably nervous for him- and it’s something they can talk about tomorrow. Right now he’s just tired, bending to scoop up Zack’s wallet right where the stands were. He’s so ready for bed-

He comes out, stopping dead as his eyes go wide in surprise. 

Several curtains are set up to make a long pathway hiding Cloud’s view of the room at large. Stands are set up at various intervals down the pathway, pieces of art hanging up to clearly be viewed in an order. The room is lit, soft and warm, and music plays with a gentle edge as he steps forward slowly. 

With an echo of “wise men say, only fools rush in…” Cloud moves toward the first stand, looking confused. It’s not the best piece of art, but the memory hits Cloud like a flashbang. 

It’s a drawing of Cloud standing tableside, looking annoyed, wearing the apron he uses for Halloween. He frowns, moving to the next picture: Cloud laying on his chest, looking sleepy and slightly confused. 

He pulls in a hard breath: he knows what this is.

Memory after memory: Cloud, teaching zack to ice skate, shopping with the girls, kissing under the mistletoe, Valentine’s Day, Cloud, looking wide eyed and sad from when they found him with Andrea, them tucked together on his birthday, and then, at the end-

Zack, down on one knee. 

Cloud stares at the drawing, then looks at the fabric hanging at the end of the path, clearly leading into the rest of the space. His heart is hammering in his ears, and it’s hard for him to breathe. This can’t be happening. It’s not. 

Hands trembling, Cloud pushes through the curtain. 

Zack is waiting on the other side, looking nervous as all hell, already on one knee, but still he smiles. “Hey there, gorgeous. Find my wallet?”

“ _ Asshole, _ are you serious?!”

  
  
  
  


(Of course, he said yes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And thats it!
> 
> I'm so emotional you guys ;_; I'm so happy I got to go on this ride with y'all! Thank you soooo much for all your comments and love and support! I'm so grateful to everybody who takes the time to read or leave kudos or comment, or all three! It means the world to me you have NO idea
> 
> follow me @shepardsaves on twitter for more nonsense

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I'm in zakkura/clack hell
> 
> I'm gonna update this semi? Frequently? Try to anyway
> 
> There'll be some questionable content in later chapters but don't worry I'll update the tags when we get there.


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